Monday, March 30, 2009

Home

I want to go home. I miss my house, my room, my bed. I miss my kid sister and my cats. I miss Chon and Nuui. I miss carrying Chon and Nuui around the house. I miss talking to them. I miss Mama's cooking - daging goreng, kari kepala ikan, kailan ikan masin, ayam masak kicap, daging kurma, kari daging, lasagna, spaghetti, bingka ubi - you name it. I miss spending time with my family despite mesti kena marah sebab asyik tido or online je kalau kat rumah. I want to eat good healthy delicious homey food.

*Rumah tak jauh pun tapi rasa macam jauh je. Haih.


I'm tired. I'm really really tired. This past month have been really challenging - tests, due dates, projects, presentations, relationships etc. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm just, tired.


I'm sorry for a lot of things. Haih.


:(

Sunday, March 29, 2009

--

Alhamdulillah, all presentations and projects are done and over with. Now it's time to rest, to sleep, to disappear from the world, from everyone, to become invisible.

I want to be alone so please leave me be. Don't come looking for me.

To do or not to do

It doesn't matter what you want to think of me because I'm done pleasing everybody. Susah betul nak jaga hati orang lepas tu kita sendiri yang sakit hati. Tak best la macam tu, kita sendiri yang sedih, emosi semua. Orang lain, apa kesah, depa tak tau apa apa pun.


Is it possible to be frank without hurting people's feelings? To speak of what you really think, or feel without coming off as a total jerk?


Macam tak boleh je. Kan?


*I'm sorry if you think I'm being mean.

Departure

Don't you just wish you can fly away to a hidden place? Where you can be alone for as long as you want and no one can find you? Somewhere peaceful and quiet for you to think straight? A place where there is no sadness?





Right this moment, I want to be anywhere but here.

Mad :(

Ne-Yo - Mad



She's starin' at me
I'm sittin' wonderin' what she's thinkin'
Nobody's talkin' 'cause talkin' just turns into screamin'
And now it's I'm yellin' over her, she yellin' over me
All that that means is neither of us is listening

And what's even worse?
That we don't even remember why we're fighting
So both of us are mad for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothin', crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

And it gets me upset
Girl when you're constantly accusing
Askin' questions like you already know
We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
This ain't the way that love is supposed to go

Whoa, what happened to workin' it out?
We've fall into this place
Where you ain't backin' down and I ain't backin' down
So what the hell do we do now?
It's all for

Nothing, fighting for
Nothing, crying for
Nothing, whoa
But we won't let it go for

Nothing, no not for
Nothing, this should be
Nothing to a love like what we got

Oh baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

Oh, baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
Perfect, perfect, oh oh
And just how good it's gonna be
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything's all right between us
Before we go to sleep
Baby, we're gonna be happy, oh

Baby, I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now?
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
Can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
No, I don't wanna go to bed mad at you
And I don't want you to go to bed mad at me
Oh no no no

Sunday morning

Went out to Mid V and Gardens with boyfriend and his brothers today. Two thumbs up :) I als bumped into Shamine, it's good to see her again. We watched Knowing, starring Nicholas Cage and I must warn you that the movie is whack! Nicholas Cage must be in desperate need of some serious cash to agree to do such a movie, but then again, he could be a member of the Illuminati.

A word to the wise, before any of you watch Angels And Demons (adapted from the novel by Dan Brown) which are scheduled to be out soon (can't wait!), if I'm not mistaken, I think you guys should first watch 'The Arrivals', a short documentary made by some people, not so sure who though. But it's really good I tell you - it explains about the plans and foundations for the arrival of Dajjal and it also talks about the Illuminati, which is in the movie Angels And Demons. If any one of you want it, feel free to ask me or Shafiq yeah yeah yeah. Or try to find it on youtube perhaps, I'm pretty sure it's there (haven't tried huu sorry).

Back to 'Knowing', I say it is not worth your time, energy and money. Trust me. Unless you just want to get first hand experience then be my guest.

All and all, I had a good time today :)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Pardon my french...

...but recent events suck. Big time. Both today and yesterday. No need to ask me why because I can't spell it out right here right now. And it sucks even more because it's seems that I am not allowed to be mad, to be sad, to be disappointed. But I am, I am.

Sedih sedih sedih benci benci benci.




Just leave me be, I don't feel like smiling anymore.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Another birthday

I feel left out again. Bosannya.

Anyways, I had a good evening with the birthday boy Shafiq and Baby. We had late lunch at Dome and watched Race to Witch Mountain after that, which was quite alright. Anyhoo, I am going to sleep after this yaw! Finally. LIKE A TEN HOUR SLEEP BAHAHA.

Akademi Fantasia is on the telly right now (rerun) here at the Student Lounge and some crazy girl who thinks she sings well is ruining Yuna's song. If you can't sing, stay away. The poor arrangement ruined the innocence of that sweet song and the stupid judges said that she perform really well. CRAP TALK. CRAP TALK. Dude doesn't know what he's talking about. Memang takda taste langsung.

They should learn a thing or two from American Idol, although this season kinda suck because of that new judge, Cara whatshername. Annoying woman talks so much Simon can't say much due to time constraint.

FAIL FAIL.

Before I depart, I'd like to say.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAFIQ BABY!
*not my Shafiq though lol.


And more importantly, happy seventeenth love.


Good night!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Camping out

It is 5 am ++ and I am still awake mahahaha! Habis la eyebags and dark circle kat mata aku:/

Why? Because I had to stay up and finish my programming which is not up to par, at all, but I'm relieved that we manage to do it time ho ho ho. So let's see, my class starts at eight and I only have about two hours if I want to sleep, that is.
Justify Full
I'm not in the room though, am here at the office with the girls from my class and we're all (okay not all, some are actually sleeping here ada aircond maaa) awake, either doing Programming or Management or singing like a toad, which in this case is Wawa. The wacky girl is high due to the lack of sleep she's getting haha.

My eye is itchy and I'm trying hard not to go back to the room and sleep because if I do, I might miss my eight o'clock class. I've Islamaic Worldview quiz at eight, Tilawah quiz at ten, Programming presentation at two and Math quiz at eight tonight so help me god.

I'm thinking of squeezing in some time for the big birthday boy and I before my Math quiz, granted that I study for it first lah. Oh and I bought him a Calvin Klein turtleneck top that I already gave him three weeks ago. I know, surprise much huh. But that's okay, because loverboy got to wear it last night during dinner, so all was good. Oh and he also requested that I give/make him ten "Tak Boleh Marah" coupons so that he can use it whenever necessary, if I get mad, that is fufufu. The boy is happy so please try not to piss him off today ja.

I'm hungryyyy. Sausage Mc Muffin anyone?

Happy Birthday

Today is an auspicious day because today is Shafiq's birthday! The big boy is twenty now hehe.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDERA SHAFIQ!


You're twenty years old bby! Zomg I'm dating a twenty-year-old hohoho. You look nice by the way hehe okay jangan perasan :P But I lovesss youuu. It was fun seeing you sing on the chair just now :) I'm happy for you. I hope you have a good one this year! See you in the morning sweetheart. I love you <3

Love,
Alyaa.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Jai Ho

Today was wasted again as all plans to study were canceled due to family gatherings, avatar the airbender muhahaha and a few missing people but no matter, there is still time to make up for it. I hope so.

I went back home to do the laundry and watched Avatar and all I can say is that IT IS AWESOMEEEEE. LOVE. And I also bathed my cat and played with them cute beings. DOUBLE LOVE. They are the only thing that does not piss me off.

There's only a week left before the finals start and I'm not the slightest bit prepared :/ I realized that I am pissed off with just about everything this past week. Sigh.

My room is clean now hehe. I finally put on the bedsheets, mopped the floor and folded the clothes. Booyeah!

I don't know how someone who is unable to cook, unable to do chores or simple tasks like cleaning things up, call the hotel etc, someone who is messy and likes to act like she's 15 can get married. I mean it's one thing if you can't cook, biasalah tu, you can learn that as you go but unable to do chores? Isn't that something a girl should already know? I thought you should have AT LEAST one lah (kasi chan) of the qualities and try to learn and acquire the other skills before getting hitched. Rupanya tak, boleh jugak en. Heh.

I've been feeling like crap lately, for all the wrong reasons. And I just lost my mood. Again. POTONG.



A lot of random thoughts tonight. Mhm I hope it will rain tonight.

Ta.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Exam jitters

Ah finally, a quiet time of my own. I've been terribly busy this past week, the amount of workload kept me away from this space, away from my bed and away from almost everything. My bed is left undone without the sheets on, my clothes are sprawled 'neatly' beneath my table and my things are all over the table it's a wonder how I managed to sleep all this time.

There were a series of unfortunate stressful events, like the paint on my jeans and the throbbing pain in my right ear but there were good times too, like the P.I and the Poetry Slam which I enjoyed very much. I personally favoured Illya's first performance, I think she did a brilliant job with it. Nisa's second poem was good too, especially the catchy "roll over and die" phrase that is so closely attached to us all; remember RPWG anybody? Oh, and Shaba did a good show as well, performing Myra Azmy's poem which in truth is actually about...a boy hehe. But I have to say the highlight of the week was Anisah's blog post that caused quite a commotion among BENL students. Ah well, I choose not to be part of the virtual catfight they are having. Good luck with that.

Anyhoo, I am gaining weight like mad now I kid you not. No this is not another rant of mine claiming that I'm fat when I'm not because right now, I am. Unfortunately, I haven't gone swimming for three weeks now due to the unkind weather and the infected ear. I plan to work out soon, perhaps when exams are over and such. Oh and I also look like a haggard woman with dark circles and eyebags as well as an uneven complexion. GAHHH STRESSS!

Oh and not forgetting, the new! and updated deadlines and important dates. Death eaters, buggahhh X__X

March 10 - Database Lab Test
March 10 - Programming Project Proposal
March 11 - Programming Quiz 2
March 12 - Management Presentation
March 13 - Management Test 2
March 16 - Programming Assignment 2
March 18 - FARAHIN BO'S BIRTHDAY !
March 18 - (Supposedly) Ungs Research Paper
March 18 - Tilawah 2 Quiz
March 19 - Hafazan Study Circle 1 (Missed!)
March 20 - Ungs Research Paper (FINALLY!)
March 20 - Mathematics Assignment
March 21 - Study Circle 1 Final Exam
March 23 - Database Project Report
March 24 - Database Test 2
March 24 - Database Project Presentation
March 25 - SHAFIQ'S BIRTHDAY ! ♥
March 25 - Programming Project Report
March 25 - Programming Project Presentation
March 25 - Mathematics Quiz
March 26 - Management Special Quiz


FINAL EXAM DATES !

March 21 - Study Circle 1
April 01 - Tilawah Al-Quran II
April 03 - The Islamic Worldview (Ungs)
April 07 - Principles And Practice Of Management
April 09 - Database Systems I
April 13 - Element Of Programming
April 15 - Discrete Mathematics


FINALLY...

April 19 - TERM BREAK YO!


So expect less of me for the next couple of weeks, I'll be busy trying to make the grade. Hopefully it will go the way I want it this time around, Insya Allah :)

Ah it's raining now, time to get some sleep. Exam tomorrow, gahhhh. Well, good luck and good night everyone!

Case study

Subject #1: Room mates, first semester.

There are four compartments in my room - A B C D - each with their own respective student or tenant. Say, I am D. I along very well with C. Note: all my room mates are seniors. Another note: I don't call my seniors 'Kak...' :)

Anyways, C hails from Terengganu and is a final year student, a fourth year. C is loud, fun and very approachable; I share a lot of things with C and we bond very well. And then there's A who's a foreigner, a Thai girl. She's an HS student, don't know what she's majoring in though. A is a reserved and quiet girl, we only talk when I call her name and she'll answer with a "Yes" followed by another answer to my query. I see little of A as she's busy with class but all and all, she is alright. Which leaves us with B. B is originally from the neighbouring country but has lived here in Malaysia for 10 years. Usually she speaks English and often she sounds like a Malay is she speaks Bahasa Melayu. She is also an HS student majoring in...Communication, I think?

B lives nearby, about 5 minutes from campus which means that she is seldom in the room. B is okay to get along with but...the only thing that bothers me is that B is not a hygienic and/or neat and/or clean person. She never bothered to sweep the floor, both the room and her compartment, even though it's filled with her curly hair. She doesn't do her laundry, doesn't clean her ceiling fan, doesn't do her bed, doesn't clean out her pile of trash and does not wash the used containers were left on her table. Sometimes when I clean my room, I feel like cleaning hers, just because I can't stand the sight of it, if I happen to look at it lah.

But of course being a junior and being me who doesn't really want give too much of a shit about these things, I said not a word. I do wish that she would clean up though but saying it to her might make things awkward between us later on. Apart from the cleanliness section, we all get along alright - if getting along well means staying out of each other's way, that is. Except for C, which is really genuine. Sadly, this is C's final semester and she will be leaving for her hometown soon sob sob.


Subject #2: Level 2 Block J, first semester.

I am currently residing at Block J of Mahallah Asiah. Note: they use the term level here, not floors. Therefore level 1 = ground floor, level 2 = first floor and so on up until the fourth level. Moving on, there are eight rooms on every floor, mine is the second. As meantioned earlier, every room has four tenants/students. I don't know everyone on the floor but there a few who has gotten my attention, well, because we tend to see one another at the toilet and/or they just look like an interesting subject.

I have a friend who stays in the first room, N. N is a fun and bubbly penangite but lately she seems awfully quiet I wonder why. I seldom see her but we have a good neighbour relationship so it is all good. Then there is J. J's nickname is pretty boyish and I think it sounds cool but she looks really cold and mean, and she rarely smiles; I've seen it only once. I tried smiling at her before but she doesn't smile back so why bother. My roomie told me that that's just how J is. No matter, as it doesn't concern me. Then of course there's E, a loud bubbly girl. Why I say this? Because she speaks loudly, louder than me I think and she too has a serious face, but thank goodness she smiles. I will always remember her for wearing shorts. Back in Pj, I was not accustomed to wearing short shorts (those that go up till your thighs, yeah I call them that) because I would definitely get stares, even from people who don't wear the hiab outside etc. Why, because you just don't do that in Pj. BAHAYA. When I first saw E, I was surprised to see a...uhm...big(?) girl who wears that and a tank top. Which is cool because it is so unlike Pj. Then there's K, a quirky girl who just cut her short hair shorter and now looks like a boy, who stays in the loud and 'happening' room - their door is always open and they are always together, very close-knit people they are.

And then there was room J 2.3. Ah yes, the room that got me all curious and confused, very intriguing. As you've already known, there can only be four students in a room. Now room 2.3 is different than the others on the floor - there seems to be 6, or even 7!, people staying in that room. Let's start from the beginning. There are TONS of shoes outside their door, TONS here meaning a lot that it filled the whole rack and a straight line and carboard box! These people love shoes, no doubt about that. First, there's GIRL 1, who danced and shaked her ass that night on new year's eve, I always see her brushing her teeth in the toilet and coming out of her room all dressed out to go to...class? Once I saw her with three different outfits in one day, so she has to be one of the tenants of the room. Second, there's GIRL 2, the taller, voluptous girl with super curly frizzy hair. I seldom see her but twice I saw her do her laundry here which have to mean that she stays in that room, otherwise she wouldn't be doing her laundry here?

Then there's GIRL 3, the shorter, voluptous girl with curly hair with a gap at her front teeth. Normally when I do see her, she'd look as if she just got out of bed. She said something to me once, something about me having a nice voice and that was that. I always wondered if she is the third tenant but I'm always unsure of it because there were three more girls.

As for GIRL 4, she smiles to me a lot, she slouches a lot (like me) and she always always always have a scarf on her head that I think she might be...bald? Laa, but it's not a bad thing pun, if she is bald. She's an African, it's pretty normal for ladies to have a shaven head, no? Anyhoo, I thought she was another possible tenant too because she's always there and she gets dressed there too.

Moving on to GIRL 5, she is a Sudanese girl, with big hips and small calves (envy!), she dances well and she can even speak Malay. I don't know her name but I see her often, but not as often as GIRL 4 which got me thinking that she couldn't possibly be one of the tenants but a possible squatter(er?) perhaps? There are one more girl though but I've only seen her a couple of times so I ruled her out.

As it turns out, I was right about GIRL 1 and 2 but very wrong about both 3 and 4. GIRL 3 is actually from Mahallah Hafsa while GIRL 4 is tenant number three. Which leaves us to the final unknown tenant. How did I know of it? Well, my fellow dropped by my room the other day and I finally asked her so she filled me in although she wasn't quite sure about the fourth girl. Turns out that they are all KAED students so it's not wonder they are seldom seen and often sleep in their friends room. I know, I sound pretty nosey but I can't help but wonder, even my roomate does LOL.

And eff wai aii (FYI), I do have a life, mind you. These are just one of those little things that happens daily that caught my attention.

So there you go, mystery solved, well, at least most of it hahaha.


Turrah.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

From one end to another

Let's make this a quick one.

Last weekend; Abg Chey got married, we had barbecue and doa selamat at the new place, sang like mad (don't deny it!), covered a lot of ground, slept late, woke up early, (I) wore make-up fufufu, played PS3 :D, had plenty of car rides here and there, witnessed massive drama rama, shared jokes and laughs and most of all, we had a good time. Well, I know I did :)

This weekend; I went home yippie!, played with Chon and Nuui, went shopping with the family :), bumped into Tun Mahathir and his wife and entourage and took a picture with him!, bumped into a friend of a friend and had a jolly time at home. Oh and miraculously finished the assignment muhahaha.

I'm happy even though I've a packed week ahead.

Turrah.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Jaded

I am losing hope on people.



I want to get away where no one can find me. Run and hide. There are bigger things to worry about but this is killing my spirit.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Of deadlines & due dates

March 10 - Database Lab Test & Quiz 2
March 10 - Programming Group Project Proposal
March 11 - Programming Quiz 2
March 12 - Management Presentation
March 13 - Management Test 2
March 13 - Database Group Report
March 15 - Islamic Worldview Research Paper
March 16 - Programming Assignment 2



Seems like my schedule is packed next week. And I already have plans this weekend. I don't know how but I have to get it done. Gahhhh.

I suck at arrays :( Booooo.


I DIE T___________T

Monday, March 2, 2009

Satisfaction

It's been a while since I wrote a proper piece. High fever, aching body parts, busy schedules and procrastination were the reasons that kept me away.

I have been terribly unwell this past week and it has come to where my throat is now sore due to the excessive cough and attempts to spit out phlegm. It seems like I get sick so easily and my sinus is not making any easier. I blame it on the weather (I think?). Sir Syamsuddin must've missed me, Mira said, because he noticed my absence. Not so forgettable, eh?

It was like a rat-race last Thursday, as every first-year students hastily registered for next semester before the seats are taken. Mira and I contemplated on taking UNGS 2040 with Dr. Syamsuddin again but Shafiq objected, saying that he does not want to be in his class, so we had to switch to Zainy. Fear not, if Zainy doesn't meet our expectations (flexible, not strict etc) then we shall leave. If that be so then I believe there will be no more chances for us to classmates, love. Fufufu.

There is only about a month left before our finals and there are still plenty to cover. I'm beginning to worry about my grades, although so far, I scored pretty well for my mid term papers. Still, it does not relieve me.

For the next few weeks I will be extremely busy; I have three assignments due next week and two tests, one this Thursday (OMG DIE!) and another on the 13th and I HAVE TO STUDY FOR ZE FINALS.

That aside, I am doing pretty alright. I am currently Shafiq's part time driver as wonderboyy strained his neck and is unable to turn left or right, which leaves me to drive him around. Which is fun :) More time with him hehehe. Okay next.

My birthday. Yes, my birthday was alright. No big surprises no cakes no candles no dinners, although I did have dinner with my family earlier. Presents, you say? Let's see. I got the watch I wanted from my parents, although now I'm beginning to feel a little bit of regret as I saw a female version of Shafiq's watch and although sporty and might clash with my kurongs etc, I WANT IT :/ Oh and by the way, my 'new' watch which is actually the last two piece at the store is now decaying (is that the right word?). The strap is starting to peel (kopek?), bit by bit. I shall have to find a PROPER AND BETTER strap some time soon, I guess.

I don't think I would want to buy anything from Fossil anymore. Pfft.

As for Shafiq, he bought me a cardi. An OLD PINK Gap Cardigan. Fear not loves, I don't look too bad in pink, granted it's not the ugly pink (yang macam keling sikit tu huuuu), while I received an Espirit purse from Mirul. Meuy gave me my most-awaited present (since last year dia nak bagi tuhhh) which is an abstract (collage?) drawing. I am impressed by your attention to the little details Meuy. Apart from that, Redha, Alya and Mya surprised me with a dark blue polka talhah. Oh, and I also got the ARZU pink talhah I wanted :D Sadly, I found out that the black piece is sold out :/ Buggah. So that sums it up.

Speaking of birthdays, I went to Klcc with the parents and birthday girl (sister) on Sunday and got her a nano control car, if I'm not mistaken lah. Little girl got her Adidas sneakers AND! father got her a pair of Adidas sweatshirt/jacket (the ones footballers wear) that looked awesome we wanted to get it too hahaha. But, uhm, no kot. Too boyish lah. Kan I tengah cuba nak dress more feminine-ly. Heh ;)


A few laughs and moments later that evening made my day. So yes Sunday was awessssome. Beyond awesome! It's beyosome! *making Rhino's voice & moves* Hehe.

Sick as I may be, I am on a roll baybay.

Anyhoo, the pictures, as promised. *no photo of the present Redha, Alya and Mya and Mirul got me though.

The most-wanted talhah from ARZU :)
&& me camwhoring with it :P

Gap V-Neck Cardigan in Calypso (Old Pink?)
I didn't have time to snap a picture of me wearing it, sorry.

The Fossil watch is currently decaying -_-"
Tapi takpa, still sayang jugak :)
I want Baby-G pulak :P

The abstract (collage?) drawing from Meuy

Izzati with her birthday present (the one I bought her)
from Me, Shafiq, Faiqah and Amani :)


I want more time with my uber cute and handsome cats. Meow ~ CHON & NUUI PICSPAM!! Not too recent though, but heck hehehe. I lovesssss them bahahaha nyam nyam they are awesome yo. Ah love love love.

Nuui and Chon :)

Chon sleeping in the cot. Ah baby baby baby.

Nuui sleeping on my bed

Prince Chon !


Ah, I'm in a happy mood so please don't ruin it. It's been a great day so far. Heee.

Ema's painting of me on the wall - last year's birthday present,
Meuy's drawing and Mika, in my compartment.



Je t'aime pour toujours mon chéri. Merci pour les mémoires.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

On a roll.

I don't know why, but I think someone is farting in class. Because it smells baaaaadddd, again and again.

Gahh, die -_-"


I have plenty to blog about :) Will do when I have the time, and pictures too, as promised.


I know she will not read this but but but Happy Birthday Alyaa Izzati ! You're 8 years old now sister :) Jangan nakal nakal nanti Kaklong marah awak kang. Awak better dapat nombor satu kalau tak... hehe love you.