Eff-ay-kay-ai-yu

I had to return the pair of jeans I bought recently because I realized they were too long for my short legs. When I tried on a pair of black skinny jeans, they said I looked bad. "Burokkk! Fashion disaster no. 1" Ouch! When I tried a different pair on, one of them kept saying "Asal besar?" Wtf it's my freaking thighs foo! Sheesh!

But, at the same time, a friend of mine of the same size (very similar, really) wore skinny jeans that day and they didn't say a thing.

Hah.

Because she's free hair and I'm not? Pfft. Well imagine that.



I'm gonna lose more weight and get smaller thighs and then I'm gonna buy myself a pair of skinny jeans and none of you can do anything about it. YOU JUST WATCH.

-

Don't say you miss me when you don't even give the fuck about me. When you never even say hello but you can do that to others. Don't give me that sweet talkin.

Hard to believe THAT.


No I'm not happy pun. Should I be? It's hard to believe that when I don't even hear from you. When all I hear are excuses excuses. I'm done going after people. I'm done caring too much. If you don't bother I won't bother as well. "Why bother looking for them when they don't even care about you?" I care too much, that's why. I value our friendship, THAT'S WHY. That's why I remembered, that's why I tried. I care about us, about you. Unfortunately for me, I care for people who doesn't give two shits about it. So why bother?

You nak cakap, you cakap la.

This has scarred me enough. I will not let it bother me anymore. So do whatever you want. If you care, fix this. I'm done trying to please.

Just For You

I am so glad I did what I did. Although frankly I wasn't really feeling it at first, I'm glad I decided to do it and I am happy. Beyond happy. It makes me happy to see you happy :)


"Surprise" ;)


I hope you had a good time. I know I did. I also want to thank Al, Izat and Sera for helping out and following me drive around to put the plan into action. Mission accomplished girls !

I'm going to bed smiling tonight.

24 months today.

I had a really really really good day. I feel like smiling to sleep or till my face hurts. I had a really good time and I hope you did too. Thank you for being you. I'm so glad I found you.

Happy anniversary love. Two years and counting :)


I love you. Always.

Your Day

We used to bicker every morning before I go to school, about how wrongly you iron my clothes or because I woke up late. Dad even said that's our favourite thing to do - to bicker about. Kumat kamit semua. I used to keep secrets from you and you'd find out anyways (mostly about me having a boyfriend during high school, a jackass for that matter) like you always do. Sometimes you weren't all too happy with me but you still put up with me and took care of me nonetheless, attending to all my wants and needs.

I'm glad I grew out of the bad relationship and with that I have grown closer to you. I'm glad that I can talk to you about anything (well, almost anything hehe). I'm glad that we can talk about crazy things and laugh like crazy women, that we always joke about with the girls as well and that we confide in you with a lot of things most people don't even talk with their mums.

Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for being a listener even though you can be pretty bad at it. Thank you for listening about my worries (this raya especially!). Thank you for putting up with my sometimes shitty behaviour. Thank you for not giving up in me when I let you down. Thank you for putting food on the table for all of us. Thank you for rushing home in the middle of the day just to prepare lunch for us to eat even though you are tied up at work. Thank you for always giving me my allowance every month without fail. Thank you for never complaining about the load of work (or burden) that you have to carry. Thank you for all your sacrifices and thank you for being the responsible mother you are. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you.


Happy Birthday Mama.

Carmina Burana

Because it is too awesome it needs a post on it's own. But, before that, a little introduction about Carmina Burana.

O Fortuna is a medieval Latin Goliardic poem composed early in the thirteenth century, part of the collection known as the Carmina Burana. It is a complaint about fate, and Fortuna, a goddess in Roman mythology, is a personification of luck. In 1935–36 O Fortuna was set to music by the German composer Carl Orff for his twenty-four-movement cantata Carmina Burana. It is the most famous movement and opens and closes the cycle. Orff's setting of the poem has become immensely popular and has been performed by countless classical music ensembles as well as popular artists. The composition appears in numerous movies and television commercials and has become a staple in popular culture, setting the mood for dramatic or cataclysmic situations.[1] See Carl Orff's O Fortuna in popular culture.

You can check out Wikipedia for more info.

Here is the most popular piece, named 'O Fortuna'. We've heard so many times, in movies, in teasers and what not. Now, check it out awesome people!



The translation:



If you're interested in listening to the full Carmina Burana, CLICK HERE. If they ever come to Malaysia, I am so there!

Cheers!

TURN THEM ON LOUDDDD

I'm bored. So I want you people to listen to these. Check 'em out. They're awesomeeeee. Hehehe. WATCH WATCH WATCH.

Be a man. Watch the videos :P Show some love yo.






The amazing Eric Clapton! Singing Going Down Slow and Layla !

Notes;

#1 I know I've been very difficult on you and I'm sorry. Whatever feeling I'm feeling right now should be washed away. You don't have to worry anymore. I will be alright. I just need some time to let it sink and let it go.

#2 I'm sorry for what was written. I have no intention of causing a scene and unfortunately for me I have a stupid friend who does stupid things like that. I hold no grudges against you and I can only hope you have none towards me too.

#3 I miss chatting with you. It feels so long since we last chat about stuff and it was very unfortunate that I missed you when you were here.

#4 I hope you're doing fine in -ria. I know I don't call often but that doesn't mean I've forgotten all about you. Save 'em details for our next phone call !

#5 I thought you'd keep your word. But you didn't. I didn't expect this from you, and I'm pretty sure you've told -- as well, just like you always do.

#6 I really miss you, and you, and you. Please call me or kidnap me. It's been way too long.

#7 I was in Bangsar the other day and remembered about the two of you and kedai Rup, whatever it's called. I wish time will permit us to meet again just like we did that day. I miss the fun I had with you both. It's been so long since we last talked, kan? Well, good luck on your finals :)

#8 People just can't keep secrets anymore. They just like to 'careless spill' (KATENYE!) those secrets around. One day it will come back to you and you will bear the consequences. What goes around comes around.



Love,

Alyaa.

Don't say I didn't tell you

You. Memang. Bodoh.

You're hurting people and you don't even know it. Next time, I'm gonna knock you in the head, hard and I'm going to make you see what you've done to me. To us. Your insensitivity and slowness should no longer be an excuse.

What you did today, memang buat I pangkah you.

I don't need the unnecessary tension. It didn't have to be that way but you just ruined it for me. Even if it's not ruined, I'm scarred already. I'll be cautious next time around. Words will not slip and I will make myself clear if I am not happy with your actions. I will not be kind with my words any longer because some people don't deserve it.

You should have checked yourself, your tongue. Now you shall bear the consequences. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Scream.

Past events have scarred me and now I am walking with my guard up. I get agitated easily now. When I say I don't care, I really meant it this time. I could care less, and now I am. Nothing interest me nowadays.

Talk about it elsewhere and do those things when I'm not around. Those acts just disgust me. I don't want to know what you talk about or who you're texting with. I don't care anymore.

So yeah, I'm the party pooper. Whatever.

When you go, you disappear

Today, after playing The Sims 3, I fell asleep, slept for 5 hours straight and woke up to find that it's too late to ask my parents to pick me up.

I want to go home :(

Thankfully, I managed to harvest my crops in time. Lol. Can't wait to go back tomorrow!


Turrah.

Resisting temptations

I finally get to play The Sims 3 ! My guy Sim is shmexy and he has a stubble. His name is David and his wife is Emily.

I am doing very well in Farmville. Managed to get the 'Architect' ribbon today.

My nails are long(er) now (the longest so far?) that it's taking me a while to get used to it &&& restraining myself from biting it now that it's no longer shiny.

I have also lost (I think?) my nail file. And now one of my nails dah cacat. Arrghh. MUST. NOT. BITE. Time to go get a manicure.

I am still waiting for my toe nails to grow so I could get a pedicure. Blah.

I am trying to type with long(er) nails. Leceh. But I'm happy. I haven't bit (bitten?) my nail for a month now. Huzzah !

I am taking care of myself now. I minimize my food intake and I put lotion on my rough hands and cracked heels at night. I am still thinking of how to make myself slightly fairer, if that is even possible.

I think I have lost weight. My jeans are a bit loose (longgar?) now. Scores! He he he he.

I am also starting to put on (some) blusher on my cheeks. HAHAHAHA cannot go.

I miss Izzati. I miss Chon too. && I can't wait for my baby brother to be born.

I had a nice weekend. But I wished I cooked. What about you?