Since I am in no mood to write in such manner tonight, I will only write the little things that matter. Yes, that and that only. Because I'm bitter tonight, bitter than I ever was before.
Thursday, 08/05/08
My grandfather, Atuk (Ma's side) was admitted to the hospital at five. Went to hospital and stayed there till midnight, after Atuk was transferred to HUKM.
Friday, 09/05/08
Didn't sleep much, went to HUKM and arrive around 4.40pm only to know that Atuk has passed away. He was 77 years old. It was just a sad day, a long day indeed. Went home at one and slept at two, or something like it. Slept only for three hours, or so.
Saturday, 10/05/08
Missed Atuk's funeral to attend MUET at Uia. It was good there, with a few small bumps, that went unnoticed. Perhaps. Later that night went to Nenek's house again for tahlil. Slept after midnight.
Sunday, 11/05/08
Woke up late and did some cleaning. The house was a mess. Everything was. Then I felt it again. It's not the first time it happened. Pfft. Got annoyed by it, slowly. Slowly eating myself up. God. Went to Nenek's after Maghrib and stayed till midnight. She could use some company. She's doing okay, for a widow.
Monday, 12/05/08
At the peak of everything. I feel like crap. I'm missing out on everything and I think the fact that you're the only sole -- in the group makes me feel slightly uncomfortable knowing that you are with them well, every single day, lunch and dinner. Come to think of it, that was me 4 months ago, no? Changes, like I said, can sometimes be good, and also can be bad. This one, I suppose I just have to live with that. Now I wonder, what will become of us next semester? Even now I find myself in an awkward position, always falling behind conversations and lost in translation.
Ah, fuck it. Zhaf would say. Perhaps, fuck it. Fuck it. Perhaps. I mean, I'm always being emotional, aren't I. So yes, today, tonight, at my peak. I sure hope it's the darn periods because that could probably explain a little why these tears are falling.
Yes I'm a bitter bitch tonight so let me be.
Pathetic.
And I still can't sleep.
Thursday, 08/05/08
My grandfather, Atuk (Ma's side) was admitted to the hospital at five. Went to hospital and stayed there till midnight, after Atuk was transferred to HUKM.
Friday, 09/05/08
Didn't sleep much, went to HUKM and arrive around 4.40pm only to know that Atuk has passed away. He was 77 years old. It was just a sad day, a long day indeed. Went home at one and slept at two, or something like it. Slept only for three hours, or so.
Saturday, 10/05/08
Missed Atuk's funeral to attend MUET at Uia. It was good there, with a few small bumps, that went unnoticed. Perhaps. Later that night went to Nenek's house again for tahlil. Slept after midnight.
Sunday, 11/05/08
Woke up late and did some cleaning. The house was a mess. Everything was. Then I felt it again. It's not the first time it happened. Pfft. Got annoyed by it, slowly. Slowly eating myself up. God. Went to Nenek's after Maghrib and stayed till midnight. She could use some company. She's doing okay, for a widow.
Monday, 12/05/08
At the peak of everything. I feel like crap. I'm missing out on everything and I think the fact that you're the only sole -- in the group makes me feel slightly uncomfortable knowing that you are with them well, every single day, lunch and dinner. Come to think of it, that was me 4 months ago, no? Changes, like I said, can sometimes be good, and also can be bad. This one, I suppose I just have to live with that. Now I wonder, what will become of us next semester? Even now I find myself in an awkward position, always falling behind conversations and lost in translation.
Ah, fuck it. Zhaf would say. Perhaps, fuck it. Fuck it. Perhaps. I mean, I'm always being emotional, aren't I. So yes, today, tonight, at my peak. I sure hope it's the darn periods because that could probably explain a little why these tears are falling.
Yes I'm a bitter bitch tonight so let me be.
Pathetic.
And I still can't sleep.
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