Cognition

Today I almost, almost!, did something that I wanted to do for a long time. I almost wanted to be bold and just get on with it, I mean what the heck, as long as I'm happy, no? I haven't done something nice for myself for a long time. I deserve that, at least.

But then I started to think things over and came to my senses; you can't always have what you want. Right? You don't always get what you want. Hardly. There are just some things that you can't have, that you're not meant to have.

Priorities over wants and needs, I decided to drop the whole idea altogether. No point pondering on it anymore. There will be other times, I'm pretty much sure, but it sucks nonetheless knowing that it won't happen now.

Perhaps someday I'll get to do things without any restraint, or constraint. To be able to do things freely, as I please, and not have to worry about the aftermath.

Perhaps.

As of now, I'm trying to find solace in helping a friend out with her project, as always, work helps calm me down. Rearranging things, putting things back together - it sort of gives me a sense of control, as I cannot control the other parts of my life.

I'm going to take a breather now.