The last of zero eight.

I can't believe that two thousand eight is ending when it feels like yesterday when I wrote the post for two thousand seven - the most life-changing year for me (read: here) - and we embraced it. Look how time flies by. What have you achieved so far? Any big changes happened to you, have you changed? I believe we all did, one way or another.

After minutes of minutes thinking of what happened this year, this is what I got. So this year I...

TURNED EIGHTEEN LEGAL YO.
Finished second sem
Three months of agony (cuti)
PD trip with Mama
The Andaman
Atuk passed away :(
Muet & meet at Pj
Some emo days during short semester
Had some arguments
Started final sem
More emo days during the beginning of the final semester
HAVING AFI & WAWI AS ROOMIES LOVELOVE
Elc AGM
Elc, great people
MyStage and drama practice
Got summoned
Met Shafiq's relatives
Hot dogs and white sauce
Had a fight with a friend
Patched things up
Bonded with friends, lovelove
Learned that I have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome
Wake up calls
Said goodbye to Afi and Wawi :(
Graduated from Cfs
Snow died :(
We turned ONE YEAR!
Bought new kittens CHON & NUUI !
Finally got my driving license
Ate Mcd for breakfast everyday for a week
Got a new haircut
The meet after two months, with Erin, Alea and Shafiq
Happy, happier, happiest with Shafiq

If you noticed, there are no shopping sprees at all this time around but somehow my money was still spent like water, oddly :P I've had many happy days as well sad episodes but that's just how life is, no? Perhaps this year's list was harder to write than the last, perhaps because it's more difficult to remember the happenings of 2008. Heh.

While the whole town celebrates New Year by going for a special dinner or partying till dawn or getting wasted, I am here writing this post because I have nothing better to do. It's not all that bad, but I sort of wish we had gone somewhere and came back before midnight, at least. But that's okay, no expectations or such actions.

I wonder if 2009 will be any different...I know tomorrow won't be. It will be just another day with a different year at the end of the date, that's all. I look forward for what next year has in store for me, I pray that it be good things and happy news and less sad stories. Well, however we may see it, learn from the past and embrace the future. Let's welcome two thousand nine with open arms and open hearts and hope for the best.

Happy New Year :)

Fences

Normally I would have created a list by now, like the one I did earlier this year, or before, (read: here) but I am putting that on hold at the moment due to my poor health. I still have one day left, till new year that is.

Just today itself I have vomitted about four times, two pukes each session, both at different locations and time. Suffice to say everything I swallowed during lunch went right back out and I mean chicken-still-in-its-form out. I bet that girl thought I was bullimic, or pregnant even, when she saw me puking in the toilet. Luckily no one saw or passed by the gents' room when I puked there during my Management lecture.

I had this once, about two years ago, or was it three(?) and even that lasted for about two weeks. Imagine, two weeks of eating and vomitting right after each meal, I did feel like a bullimic. But I never went on the scales to check my weight though, heh.

I remember this one time, the worst, I was at Klcc eating wild mushroom soup when suddenly my throat felt itchy (gatal?) and I rushed outside the restaurant heading for the toilet, only to walk the opposite direction. As soon as I reached the emergency exit (nearest door I could find) I puked so bad that liquid came out from my nose(!). Mhm, yeah, disgusting really, I know but suppose it's better than barfing right in front of everyone.

I wonder how some people can stay bullimic really, it's just painful and agonizing and downright yeck yeck.

I'm liking the cyber cafe here - very spacious, flat screen computers, peaceful, no mosquitoes but I don't quite fancy the keyboard, but nevertheless... So I spent two hundred on three thick big books and I had to carry them all the way to my mahallah (hostel, in other terms) and now I feel so broke and tired due to all that walking and carrying. I'm using way too much ands.

It is week two now and I feel that it has finally begun to sink in that there will be no play play after this. Buggah. Anyhoo, I will get back to you on the list.

It's been a pretty bad week, health wise especially and I like having cold water splashed on my face. It feels really good. Random.

K night!

Phlegm kahak phlegm

I should be packing now but but but malas. I've been coughing out phlegm so much my head hurts, like the time when water went into my nose when I jumped into the pool too hard. Yeah, it's that bad. I don't feel like eating but that would mean leaving my poor tummy grumbling all day long and even if I do, I'd end up puking it all out again due to the bad cough.

I have been in a crappy mood all weekend and I doubt it's about to get any better. I don't know why, but it seems like the meds are not really working for me, sigh. I don't recall being this sick for a while now, even with my allergy, it was never this bad. I wonder how I'm going to cope during classes as I will have to use the toilet every now and then, and I've already finished two boxes of tissue paper.

Is this really just a really really excruciatingly bad cough or something more? I hope not, but this is killing me! Seriously, I DIE DIE DIE T______T I wish some doctor would just shove a pipe down my throat and my nose and suck out all the phlegm and mucus. I'd pay big money for that, really.

I'm thinking of doing another CT scan on my nose, a recheck, to be sure. Last time when we did that, Mum's sinus seemed to be worse than mine but soon after she found out that she may have to undergo surgery, her sinus cured. While mine grew worse. So now I'm really considering going under the knife to prevent this from getting worse, because it's really bad once I get infected. Really really bad. Like now bad.

I know I've been talking about my nose (and throat and ears and health) a lot lately. It's really bugging me and I can only wish for a new pair of nose or sinus or whatever it is to get better, you know? Bear with me :/

Be thankful for your health while you can people!



Okay Imma go pack now and sleep as soon as I get to Gombak. I need to rest but I don't know how because even after sleeping for several hours, I will still feel tired, especially now now now.




I need a hug :(

Travis - Sing

Sing sing sing sing sing ~

Fran Healy's voice reminds me of Damien Rice and god that accent of his. I think it's the accent, be it Irish or Scottish. It has to be it LOL. I LOVESSSSS FUFUFUFU.

I love Real Player thank you God !

Rufus Wainwright

Been playing this song on loop for a while now and before anyone goes berserk about it, chill lah, it's just a song.

Reminder to all

Aku tak suka bila my so called friends mengungkit pasal benda benda bodoh. Macam cakap aku sombong sebab tak contact la, lepas tu menghilang sebab tak lepak la, atau sebab tak pernah nak lepak dengan dorang. Lepas tu aku lagi boring sangat bila dorang buat gathering ke apa ka pastu tak ajak and bila aku cakap tak ajak ke etc, depa cakap aku mengungkit.

First sekali, aku bukan kaki lepak. Aku nak keluar rumah pun susah apatah lagi nak lepak kat mamak ke shisha ke apa. Kau semua memang takkan faham pun, sebab mak bapak kita tak sama. Mak bapak aku tak bagi keluar, so what? Kenapa kau kena kecoh ulang ulang cakap aku tak lepak la, tak pernah ada la semua?

Bila aku boleh keluar tak nak pulak ajak, lepas tu kau kecoh lagi. Aku penat betul la dengar leteran yang sama je berulang kali. Kawan ke, tak kawan ke, sama je la semua. Bab complain memang nombor satu. Why don't you try being in my shoes to understand my situation for a change? Aku tau, kau mesti tak nak punya, memang tak akan lah.

Kalau kau betul kawan kau takkan kecoh la. Some of us actually have lives than just spending our time loitering about the mamak/mall/shisha place. Aku tak kecoh pun bila kau busy, so kenapa kau nak kecoh pulak? Aku tak suka la kau punya perangai kadang kadang memang macam taik. Haprak betul.

Bila aku tak layan kau cakap aku emosi pulak. Sukati aku la apa kau kisah. Kau tau nak buat sakit hati orang je ada la. And don't give me the crap saying that I don't try hard enough because you don't fucking know what you are talking about. Damn you for saying that. And dude, relationships requires effort la okay, from both sides so kau cermin diri sendiri dulu before you go about lamenting about others, okay!?




This goes to all of you. Kalau nak jadi sampah macam ni lebih baik berambus je aku malas nak layan dah.

Bedridden

I am sitting on my bed with tissues all around me, unwell, with phlegm in my throat, mucus in my nose and pain in my ears. I am in the worst state yet, I have never felt so sick before.

I have been hearting plenty of pictures over at We Heart It, immensely occupied by the dazzling snapshots of things and people and of those guilty pleasures; an excuse to make me forget the agonizing pain I'm going through.

I have made a few arrangements to meet up with friends and I hope I can keep them all intact. I must get well before school starts again, or I will die trying to contain the mucus and phlegm from oozing out in class.

I am all pessimistic this weekend.


Change can be so hard sometimes but we must face the inevitable, no?

14. Fourteen. 14.

Despite the frequent visits to the loo to rid the phlegm and the presence of such discomfort in my throat, I am in one of my best moods, partially because today is a notable day for us.

I am very happy with how things are and I have every reason to be. A new spot has kept me scouring for hours, resulting in long daydreams of the many possibilities that left me feeling like a smitten lovesick puppy all day long.

I am happy that you are in my life and I look forward to spend the rest of it with you, dearest. This is special, I will treasure it forever. I am lucky to have someone like you. You have been nothing but great, each and every day.

Love notes will not do justice for me to express how I feel so I hope that these three words are good enough for you to know that I do; I love you.

Happy 14 months.

Post-it notes

I've been procrastinating this for as long as possible but I suppose it is overdue. There is no need for me to justify myself but I think it must be done to avoid any misunderstandings and/or nasty comments.

I've been terribly busy with school - walking around campus to and fro, adjusting with campus life and catching up on my sleep as soon as I reach home. I hope you can understand why I have been missing, both online and, sometimes, offline as well. School has kept me occupied and left little room for me to wander off elsewhere.

I don't feel as lonesome as I did, mainly because they are here now and I no longer feel like an outcast although I have to admit, there were awkward moments that made me uncomfortable but I'm trying my best not to let them get to me.

Bitter remarks will be ignored until further notice; I will not entertain your qualms, go play traffic instead, alright.

Cloud my doubt

I hate it when my curiousity win me over and I'll end up feeling all emotional.

I hate it that I fuss over petty little things and let these things hurt me.

I hate that I worry about everything and cry when I feel blue.

I hate when I am right when it comes to bad hunches and surprises.

I hate it when people take advantage over me.

I hate feeling guilty for something that I did, of didn't do.

I hate the fact that some people can tick me off real well and I just let them do it.

I hate being pessimistic.



I need to toughen up and mend this shell of mine, then hopefully, everything will be alright.

Four days in motion

Hello people, I'm home!


After four days of ta'aruf I am now sitting comfortably with the air-cond on, and with that I also have with some interesting news but where do I start? So many things have happened, both good and bad, and I am eager to tell you my first hand experiences :) I have four days of stories (is that phrased correctly?) to share with the world, if not my friends and readers.

Things started off pretty well, with me getting acquainted with my new room and the surroundings. We had a couple of briefing sessions which included about the campus and what not. During the question and answer session concerning the mahallahs, five international students went up and asked questions; total confrontations. They complained that the water is too cold, that there is no hot water and that the boys' mahallahs are too small and that they have no privacy as they have to share it with other people. We cheered for their boldness but find their complaints rather annoying as it seems, they are pretty fussy and annoying too, such a handful lot. What was more interesting was how the guy/ representative (speaker/brother whatever you may call it) refuted their laments with such ease and confidence that kept their mouth shut.

We went back to our respective mahallahs at midnight and slept for about two hours before the committee came and woke us up for Subuh prayers. Thing is, Subuh is at six in the morning but there we were strolling - a delicate way to put it - at four thirty in the with groggy eyes and heavy backpacks on our backs, that are filled with tomorrow's attire and necessities.

I slept throughout the first two talks/briefings, jotted a few things in my little Damask notebook and dozed off again. We were all tired and bored with the speakers as most of them did not speak clearly and/or fluently and we were just worn out to lend our ears to them. Later after Zuhur, we were grouped and taken to our respective Kulliyahs. I find Dr. Ahmed M. Zeki's briefing about Computer Science highly captivating, I am sure that I want to major in CS. The only slight catch is that I have to score a minimum grade B in four chosen subjects to major in Computer Science, in which two of the subjects are Discrete Mathematics and Calculus I. Computer Science is all about Math and Programming and I'd have to do extremely well to get a spot in that subject. I was slightly intimidated by it but I am up for the challenge, and if I change my mind later, I would still have my options open and I'd like that.


After the talk, we had to take a Fundamental Knowlegde Test (FKT) which is probably equivalent to Fardhu 'Ain and then headed back for dinner. We spent a few more hours in the Main Auditorium soon after and later retired to the moosq (moose-q). Pardon me, I meant to say/write MOSQUE but that was purposely written that way, everything has a story to it. You see, among the things that we, or I find amusing was the committees' pronunciation. At first we thought it was only a minor mistake made by the sister in charge but to our surprise, most of the committee members pronounce it that way. There were many other grammatical errors throughout the whole ta'aruf and I took the liberty of jotting them down when we heard it hehehehe. Mira and I call it Grammar Mammar LOL.

These were among the very BEST:

you can asking...

we will blocking you...

I appreciately wants...

RISE your hands... (LMAO)

paus... (which turned out to be PAUSE LOL!)

anddddd....wait for it...

MOOSQ... suppose you a combo of MOOSE only that it's ended with a Q at the back (which turned out to be MOSQUE)


And even after the boys laughed and corrected them, they still continued to pronounce it like that. One would think that they would know it by now. That aside, I was pretty agitated by the committee as they refused to let us buy food with the reason that they have provided food for us. The thing is, breakfast is at seven, lunch at one while dinner is at six thirty. Six thirty I tell you! I have nothing against early dinners but that's just not how I function. Knowing myself, I would probably go hungry again after nine! The agony. And to give me the cheek! To be so rude to us all when we asked them ever so politely to take some cash from ATM, to take our keys in our bags AND THEY STILL LOOK AT US IN DISGUST. If they feel disgusted by us then why bother taking part in such event!? Bodoh.

Anywaaaay, back to the main plot, while at the mosque, I listened to a tazkirah by some foreigner and though his speech was simple and direct, I find it to be a pang in the face. It only made me want this even more. And so, we slept in the mosque that night and woke up at four the morning after, shivering while feebly attempting to warm ourselves up - we had qiamullail, that was why we brought our stuff along. Most of us did not take our shower as it was darn cold that morning but I took mine :)) Later on that day, I slept all the way through lunch and was miserable throughout the whole day due to lack of sleep. We were released in the evening to freshen up and went back to the venue for some other activities.

Fast forward, as soon as I got back to my room later that night I fell asleep and missed Subuh with the troop. Luckily, I didn't get into trouble and made it in time for the Bai'ah Ceremony. Fast forward about three four hours and we went back to our mahallahs and had dinner, this time, on our own. I had Mc Donald's again, my third this week. After dinner, we headed back to the Main Auditorium for one last time for the cultural event.

And the rest is now.

Gombak is awesome. I have yet to find out what it has in store me, but so far, I'm liking every bit except for one. I've been such a miserable wreck these past two days because I have no one here with me, no walking partner. Talk about having a lot of friends, I know. They're all just acquaintances, my real friends are all away, and even though I'm with them I still feel like a misfit. Afi is away in her Kunatan while Wawi is still in Pj, but there's not much difference as she'll be joining Afi in Kuantan next year, leaving me to fend for myself. I am mad at myself for even thinking about these petty things when I ought not to. I'm breaking my own rule. I should never borrow things and I should never rely too much on people, these things should not be taken seriously because people just don't care.

I admit, I miss you people. Not just Zhaf, Alan, Afi and Wawi but the whole mob, ELC people and such. I miss you people.

As for Shafiq, he will be joining me on Monday. HURRAYSSSS !!!!! In a twist of fate, he got a second chance and voila, he's IN! Yaaaaaaays. I am happy for him. I am not expecting much this semester, where the relationship is concerned - meaning I don't expect to see him all the time as I'm pretty sure our timetables will keep us busy with school work. But that's okay, I know we will always have each other, so yeah. Positive thinking right there.


New semester, new adventures. Everything will be just fine.

Squeezing some time

I have about 20 minutes left before I leave for school, again. Went there earlier at nine and registered for my room and went home to have breakfast, Al-Rawsha's Chicken Mandy mihahaha. The room is very satisfactory and I'm pleased with the condition of the building, although I have to say that it is so JAUHHHHH. Mati kena jalan T_____T

I cannot wait to see the girls and for Shafiq and whole gang to come and join me next semester. As for Afi, she's doing fine in that holy land. :)))


Ta'aruf will start later after Zuhur. Wish me luck people, I'll get back to you laytahhh.


Love, xx.

Goodbye for now

Seven hours and thirty minutes. That's how much time I have left before I leave for school tomorrow. Registration starts at eight thirty and I'll be leaving home, then. I can't believe that the holiday is finally over. Seven weeks, seven long weeks. Done with.

I'm pretty much excited for school, perhaps all for the wrong reasons(?), I don't know but then again anything beats than being cooped up at home all day everyday, no? Well, it ain't all that pretty actually. I'll probably miss home a lot, not to mention my handsome Chon and beautiful Nuui. Plus, Shafiq won't be around to join me, along with Alan and Zhaf. As for Wawi and Afi, well they'll be gone to Kunatan so, that's a strike right there. I'll probably be alright with the others but I still wish for them to be there with me. Buggah. I will be waiting for you people.

Afi left for Kunatan earlier today and she said they have a Starbucks outlet over there, so that's good. I've packed and re-packed all my stuff and will be coming home this weekend for my other belongings, I am only taking the few necessary items along with me. I've been told that the Ta'aruf will be pretty long, boring and maybe gruelling(?) - as they take up looooong hours - so help me God and help get me through.

So I won't be online until this Saturday, perhaps, as I will not be taking Mika along with fearing that it might get stolen as I doubt I'll be staying in the room much this week. Keep me posted darlings, I'll get back to you once this is over with.

Till then, turrah.

For Afi ♥

One year ago, present ♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥

I dedicate this to Afi ♥ I am quite in a soppy mood after today's incidents and also, knowing that Afi/Mokk/Barneyy will be leaving for Kuantan on Monday makes me feel like tearing up. God knows when we will see her again :'(

Take good care of yourself girlfriend/room mate/mommy/dinasour/cekeding tapi beraset. We lebiu, your stick figure and your beetles too. Ok maybe just like ;) Don't forget us here and be sure to keep in touch yah yah yah.

We ♥ you Barneyy ! Xxx

Disdained

It seems like every subject is a sensitive subject; like every issue will ache either party and then both will end up getting hurt while the conversation will be left with nothing but silence. Everything needs to be spoken in hushed tones, hidden away, and unspoken when in the presence of the other. Slowly, gradually, more and more things will be swept under the rug until there is none to speak of.

What is left to be shared, then?


Seriously, tell me.

-

SUKA HATI LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Sukati la nak ke tak nak. Sendiri tau la, tak malu apa.

Ada la sebab dia. Mintak mintak pulak dah.

Banyak songeh lah okay. Dah diam diam.

I don't wanna hear it no more.

Dearest pets,

Sisters can be so annoying you just want to strangle them sometimes, in your head, but of course that is out of the question. Still, they never fail to make your day crappy. Went to watch Bolt in 3D with the family and felt for the poor dog. John Travolta sounds uber cute as Bolt. I cried, during the sad part of course and suddenly, at that point of time missed Chon and Nuui terribly, even Snow. I was feeling kind of guilty as a matter of fact because I accidentally closed the door a bit too fast while Nuui was trying to make a run to go outside, and the door well...hit her head I guess. I know.

So, this is to them cats, my cats, both alive AND dead. Sometimes I wish I can squish squeeze them. Onmonmonmon.

This is...was Snow. Sadly, we did not take many pictures of her and we regret it. Big time. Rest in peace, old friend :/




This is Nuui budak mengada paling manja sayang gila. These were taken about two/three weeks back. She's slightly bigger now and much more active.




This is Chon yang memang active comel handsome manja geram gila. These were taken when we brought him home with us. He has grown a lot since, slightly bigger than Nuui and his lovely stripes are starting to show. Mini little grey tiger teeheehee. Uber love.




This is them, the inseperable pair. Love love love.





&& a video of them playing. Please excuse the noise and the horrible sound of my voice. My apologies. I do hope it works though. Was taken during their first week in our home.

Till more happy cat posts, Happy Eid to all and good night!

Upgraded and marked.

In case any of you wondered (though, I doubt it but I will just state it here) why I put my blog on private, it was because I needed to make some major changes and I apologize.

Yesterday, while browsing through numerous blogs and websites, I thought of editing my page and change things a bit; as seen right this moment. I thought it was a good time to change and after hours scouring for possible layouts at Blogskins, I decided to upgrade my blog instead. I wasn't too excited with the new do but after various edits and previews, I now agree (even more) with Afi; I am very pleased with the new look, very organized. Super.

I fancied it and although it seems pretty bland without a proper background, it is much more organized than my previous ones. The codes are harder to understand as it's a totally different language altogether but I guess, in time I'll get the hang of it. Maybe I should buy a book about it or something, heck, I should get a book on Html too. Sigh, I should live up to my 'computer science student' name. Like, seriously.

I've also added something new to this blog, which is the 'Ad-Free Blog' picture at the sidebar. I came upon it at Meuy's page, one thing led to another and I find myself reading an article of an interview about this picture/button. I thought about it after a while and decided that I too, support the motion. I have always thought that ads are just mess and that blogs should not have ads, unless it's an online shop or the likes - well, you get the gist.

Anyways, excerpts (taken from the website);

By using this icon on my website I am stating...

1. That I am opposed to the use of corporate advertising on blogs.

2. That I feel the use of corporate advertising on blogs devalues the medium.

3. That I do not accept money in return for advertising space on my blog.

signed,

the author

"I am opposed to widespread advertising impacting every aspect of our existence. And I am drawing a line around the space that I deem inappropriate for advertising to inhabit. In this case it is my blog."

"...The more ads that appear on blogs the less we will all trust in honesty of the medium as a whole."

"...I do like to support people whose work I value. I personally still have a problem with receiving money for this, once again it comes down to credibility for me. I want my readers to trust that I act not only for personal gain or monetary reward. This decision comes down to one of personal choice. Ads are a way to make money, lets be clear about this. The best way to support a company is to write about them."

For more, you can read it here and here.



Turrah.

Tagged by Lisa

Have seen this around but this is the first for me ahaha.

....

Syarat untuk menunjuk keseksian.

01. Sertakan tiga keping gambar kamu yang kamu rasa paling seksi.
02. Tak semestinya tak berpakaian atau mendedahkan, mungkin kamu rasa senyuman anda masa itu adalah seksi, sertakan!
03. Nyatakan kenapa gambar itu begitu seksi di mata kamu?
04. Tag 5 orang yang seksi.
05. Selamat menyeksikan diri!

....

So, gambar ni seksi...

#1
...sebab sememangnya seksi (hahahaha) dan kurus lagi :p

#2
...sebab orang yang muka garang/tak senyum pun (boleh) seksi jugak.

#3
...sebab tak nampak muka memang paling seksi. Mysterious tu ;)

Ok dah, tak seksi pun. Tamat.
Saya tag: Semua yang ada di links saya, dua dua jantina pun.

....

Suppose that is all folks. Turrah :)

Over the moon.

I met the best people today and had a great time despite the fact that it was only a short meet. Still. It just shows how much I miss being around them people and how much their company means to me. The sarcasm, the jokes and the laughs. Bundles of joy!

No words can describe how good today was. Thank you, friends and thank you, love. I love you guys to the bones and you, yes you, I love you even more. YOU MADE MY DAY x) I am happier than happy.




Yay me x)