The Road Trip

If our arms aren't strong enough, we'll rip the roof off with our hearts. If the road is dark, our dreams will light the way. If there isn't space in the back, we'll make space in our hopes. Pack a bag with everything you want to keep and leave the rest behind. Because I'm coming to pick you up.

(via I Wrote This For You)



Come to me, I'm waiting for you ♥

John Mayer Sings

Listen on LOUD. Those words are exactly what they mean. It will melt you away. Here's the next Eric Clapton for you ♥

"Slow Dancing In A Burning Room"

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

The Scratches That Made Me

You buy things and you keep them clean. You take care of them. Keep them in a special pocket. Away from keys and coins. Away from other things that should be kept clean and taken care of as well. Then they get scratched. And scratched again. And again. And again. And again. Soon, you don't care about them anymore. You don't keep them in a special pocket. You throw them in the bag with everything else. They've surpassed their form and become nothing but function. People are like that. You meet them and keep them clean. In a special pocket. And then you start to scratch them. Not on purpose. Sometimes you just drop them by accident or forget which pocket they're in. But after the first scratch, it's all downhill from there. You see past their form. They become function. They are a purpose. Only their essence remains.


(via I Wrote This For You)

Mother tongue

Saya memang tak suka nak bagi orang pinjam laptop saya sebab selalunya orang macam bangang je. Lepas tu saya tak suka gila gila gila kalau buku yang saya baru beli tu dah ada backbone (aka ada line kat bone dia tu sebab bukak lebar sangat) sebab saya rasa orang yang buat macam tu memang BANGANG BIN BAHLUL sebab buat buku tu macam tu lepas tu letak balik. Kalau buat kat buku sendiri tak kisah ah. Saya bengang sebab adik saya pegi beli buku macam tu untuk saya. Haih. So esok, saya rasa saya nak beli buku baru. SUKA HATI AKU LAH.

Saya juga tak suka bila orang sibuk sangat nak guna laptop saya lepas tu nak bergaduh padahal it's my laptop wtf you should be asking me first. Sebab orang orang ni guna pakai ikut suka je, kalau rosak semua tak nak mengaku. Tapi kalau tak bagi buat muka memang mengundang nak kena sepak muka tu.


Malam ni saya bengang sebab semuanya bangang. Bo-doh!

Things to do #2

#1 Save money to buy Farm Cash & Coins on FarmVille.
#2 Save money to get a manicure & pedicure.
#3 Restrain self from biting my nails. Continue doing so.
#4 Try not to get pissed off with certain slowsukatanyasoalanbodoh friends.
#5 Walk... and jog too(!) on treadmill.
#6 Get food at Hot Roll tomorrow! or Go to Kino! Huzzah!
#7 Read up Financial Accounting :((


Okay I'm off to bed now goodnight!

Things to do #1

Some things to do after Raya holidays:

#1 Eat at Ikea - meatballs yumm.
#2 Eat at the warong near Alan's house.
#3 Eat the dory fish at Mamma Mia :)
#4 Drink Starbucks Mocha aw aw.
#5 Eat sushi !!!
#6 Eat Double Cheeseburrrgerrrr MakDunaldzz
#7 Eat Mc Donald's breakfast :)
#8 Eat at Al-Rawsha.
#9 Eat eat eat.


So basically, this is an eating list. To realize this list I shall keep some money aside so that I can spend on some good food. Eh, and of course I won't be eating all of it in a day lah.

I need to keep walking, and exercising too. Heh.

Ze list will be updated as I go. I think there are other stuff I want to eat but I can't recall. Heh.

K ta.

The Fear

Just the thought of it makes me shiver with fear, with sadness and heartache.

I am scared shitless. I don't even feel like celebrating. Long sighs could not escape me. I am haunted with negative thoughts based on all the bad experiences I've had.

I'm scared. I should be more optimistic but I can't. I'm trying but the negative outcomes are all I could think of because that's what I'm most afraid of. I'm afraid of that.

Nothing I do can calm this anxiety. I'm scared.

I don't want to end this. I can't end this. I can't lose this. I just can't.


God help me :'(

7 Pounds

#1 I cleared out and cleaned the fridge and I am very happy about it.

#2 I mopped the floor, cleaned the stove, did the dishes and I am spent.

#3 I managed to do everything I set out to do today.

#4 I bit my nail. One nail. I failed at that. I need to get myself an emery board before I start biting 'em nails once again -_-"

#5 I have lost two kilos yeh! Which is technically, awesome, but I still look big so... I still have a long way to go before I reach 52 or 50.

#6 I am having a headache about this whole shbang. I am tired and baffled and dumbfounded. If only things were simpler then we can all live happily without having to worry about THIS thing. Which is tiring, really.

#7 Mother said I'm paranoid and I think I am because I have every reason to be! It's driving me insane. I can't stop worrying. Bubububu. I guess whatever happens, happens.

This Just In.

My recent posts are all of anger and sadness and stress and frustrations. No happy stories none whatsoever. Life is not looking too good for me at the moment, with poor answers for midterm - and I reckon I'll get even poorer marks at that - and all the frustrations that follows. Gahhhh bengang bengang.

I seriously need to pick up the pace. So what have I missed? Let's see. I have about 5 chapters of MIS to revise, another two of Financial Accounting and about eight modules of Object Oriented Programming which will be on Tuesday ohmaigad. That'll be the last paper, for now and I have a feeling Nashrul's (that's my OOP lecturer) gonna give us some tough questions blahh.

I'm not happy with any of my papers. I'm not confident with any one of them. Not MIS, not UNGS, memang not Calculus and now not Financial Accounting. I understand the steps to make a bank recon but eff-you-see-kay I couldn't understand a thing - what the question wanted, which is which and what not. FAIL !

So yes, it's looking pretty bad for me.

I passed Calculus, with twelve marks behind the full score. I am neither happy nor sad. I'm not indifferent either. I just can't do anything about it because in a way that's what I expected. Haaaahh apa ni aim low nya ya Allah memang under-achiever T___T I could have done better, I think. I mean, I thought I wouldn't be able to answer anything but I did. Hah ha. Tapi still fail. Fail sebab bodoh sangat dapat markah sikit. Memang rasa tak dapat je Dean's List.

Which reminds me, that Sime Darby thing. Lagi la tak dapat. Haaa berangan je. I thought of applying, just trying my luck...even though I know it's a slim chance I'd be accepted. Plus, I heard they'll make you do some calculations? Haih, major trouble. Oh well.

Anyways, despite having a pretty sucky week with sucky exam answers and results, I went to Ikea today and got myself a new pillow. I wanted to buy a pillow (the usual pillow for sleep, rectangular shape and all) but I got the big Gosa Tulpan instead (this one's a relatively big square pillow) so that I can sandar sandar on it hehe. Oh! I also got a new bed finally! Eh, I mean mattress ahhh so awesome. After...12 years, that is awesome news trust me. So yes, next week I shall sleep on ze new mattress hahaha tak sabarrrrr.

Please pardon my language I'm just not in the mood to write proper English today.

Oh, and you know, I happen to have this really weird classmate which I have never talked to but I heard he's an ass (perangai dia la) and he hits girls. Not hit on but hit hitting. He tried to pick a fight with a girl (my friend pulak tu)! Lepas tu dia cakap, "Aku tak kisah nak gaduh dengan perempuan. Aku boleh (or was it tak kisah?) pukul perempuan". Like where the fuck are his balls man, seriously? Thankfully, dude has never spoken to me although he already added me on Facebook. If he dares lay a finger on me I am gonna step on his puny little dick banyak kali sampai dia mandul (like that dream I had the other day but with another person, hah hah ha). You hit me I'll hit you back, harder.

Aaahh I guess I do miss writing crappy stuff for my own pleasure even if I don't use pretty words to decorate my sentences hah.

Azza's flown back to Korea and I didn't even have the chance to see her, and she was here for three whole months! What a crappy friend I am. I haven't seen her since high school gahh. I'm so sorry to have missed out on you like that, and I'm terribly sorry for not sending you last night but you know I had my exam this morning so yeaa, I can't :/ I hope you're doing alright over there Azza!

So that aside, I am doing okay. I am not losing any weight, because I eat just as much as I walk even though it's Ramadhan. Hmm, entah lah. Tapi tak makan three meals a day pun. Alaa, whatever lah.

Oh ye, and Happy Birthday Al ! Even though your birthday was yesterday and I already gave you your slice of cake I thought I'd just post it here since I didn't blog yesterday, heh. And a happy birthday to Min as well although I know that he doesn't read my blog but still, this is for you neighbour!

Alright then, I'm off. Have a pleasant Ramadhan everyone and don't forget to perform qiamullail or something because Lailatulqadar is coming our way Insya Allah.

Turrah.

Disconnected.

Connecting... connecting... connecting...


"Sorry... please try later".




That's all I hear these days, that soft recorded lady-voice. And that's how I'm feeling too.

Murky waters

I miss talking to people - on the phone or online - about stuff like music, relationships, gossips, books, movies and just simply laughing about at our conversations. I rarely have that nowadays. I don't go online as much, especially on Messenger and I hardly call people now (because I'm desperately trying to cut down on my phone bill but it vain).

I am not so angry now than I was before but I am spent. The lack of sleep and the constant worry about mid terms are killing my mood (not to mention some other external factors pfft). As for my midterm, UNGS paper sucked real bad while Calculus was...okay lah. I got more than half so, not so bad. I guess you could say I'm just aiming for a pass? It's sad really, but I don't know if I can go beyond that - my intellectual capability is just not made for stuff like that. Hah. I still have three papers to go so help me God.

That aside, today was a dull and quiet day. I didn't say much and that's all there is to it. Well, I shall retire, because there are simply too many smelly people in this computer lab right now.

Have a good day everyone.

September Morning

I miss you.


I really really miss you.