Against All Odds

The walls are coming down.

They were not built to stand the test of time.

They were not built to last.

And no one can save it. Not even them.

Colour me up

It's pretty easy for me to get mad and be pissy about something and it's also just as easy to feel all smitten inside and smile ear to ear.

I guess simple little things can still make me happy ♥

So I woke up early, did my laundry, had plenty of time to get ready which I used to colour my face. I liked it. I thought it looked nice with the new scarf I just got, which I also love.

I should colour my face more often. Possibly on my happy days.

&& could somebody get me a bottle of Benetint already? It's gonna be the thing that will save my life! ahaha, or at least my face :)


Have a good one everyone.

Boiling point

Today was a shitty day.

Don't ask why. Oh wait, you didn't!

Hah!

No surprises there.



:(

Respect!

Here's another thing you should know about me.

If, or when, I have a dislike or is furious at somebody , I will avoid seeing or bumping into the said person because the mere presence of said person will only upset me, piss me off and make me want to puke. I will also avoid talking about them (or to them for that matter), I can listen (even if I sound uninterested, but that's all I can take) but I will not talk about them or mention them in my conversations.

So much repressed anger, I know. But then again, there's really no point in saying things because, knowing girls, we will analyze every single bit and interpret things differently, not to mention the load of gossip that comes after. Kan? I don't need that so I suppose I'd have to settle with this repressed anger.

I won't be angry forever but if I see the said person (that I'm piss off at/dislike), it will only trigger the feelings I felt before. You get the gist. It will take a while for me to dispose the feeling and then, I'll be okay. It won't be the same, because I'll be on the watch and put my guard up, but at least I won't feel angry anymore. It's just so tiring when you have all these repressed anger, and some people just ask for it, you know?

So, in conclusion, if you pissed me off big time and I don't talk to you or avoid you, you know why. I KNOW that if I see you, I'd have to put on a mask which is very agonizing and of course, fake. It'll just pissme off more that I might even yell at you, for good. You wouldn't want me to make a scene and embarass you in front of everyone now, do you?

There you go, now you know.

Bundle Of Joy (Literally!)

In case you haven't heard, Mama gave birth to a healthy baby boy last night at 10:30 pm, weighing at 4.03 kg! Both mum and little baby brother are doing swell :) So today baby brother turns one day old hehe.

We named him Rawsyad Muhammad Usaid, which means "petunjuk yang terpuji dan berani" hehe. It may not suit your fancy but who cares? We love it! Baby Rawsyad is doing well, sangat manja and looks like Abah. Ooh! && he has a cleft chin. Like me! Awwhhhh. So cute.

He's our little bundle of joy. After 19 years, my parents finally get a SON, my father's dream of having an heir/wali is fulfilled and I (along with my sisters), finally get a baby brother. I've been wanting a baby brother for as long as I can remember, but I sort of gave that up by the third sister but lo and behold, God had plans for us all. Thank you God. Syukur alhamdulillah.

Will post a picture of him some time soon.

I can't wait to see him again tomorrow!

Nausea!

Here's something you should know about me.

As much as I have many guy friends and are cool with guy talk or just plain crap talk and all that jazz, I don't move my hands all over them, for example, touch them everytime we talk or whenever one of them says something funny, chase them around when they take something precious from me or just put my hand on their shoulders or lean on them or go poking them and crap like that. I admit, I have done so, a couple of times I think - there was that time when I pinched a friend so hard for pissing me off that it bruised for a week and once, or twice, when I'd stand beside one of them and start comparing our heights then put I elbow on their shoulders for a bit. But that's it, and it's been a very very very long time since the last time.

I don't go chasing them around or hit their back or touch their hands/wrist/palms whenever we talk or sit on their laps when there are no available seats left, I shall stand if that be the case. Put all the dosa part aside which is true and cannot be argued with, I find it to be wrong, at least for me. I mean come on, I'm somebody's girlfriend. The least I should do is respect that. Plus, even if I'm single I personally feel I should be doing that. I'm just not comfortable with it. I don't care if you do that, seriously, I don't, but that's just not how I roll.

Which is exactly why I absolutely hate it when I see girls doing that with my boyfriend. Call me possessive or crazy but I am old-fashioned like that. I don't care if you're cool with that, I respect that because that is your choice and your life and it is none of my concern so I expect you to do the same for me, give me the same kind of respect, BY NOT GOING ALL TOUCHY TOUCHY.

I don't care if that's what you do with all your guy friends but PLEASE GODDAMMIT respect the fact that the boy is attached and respect me. I don't bloody care if you're my friend or not, there are limits to everything, or haven't you heard? Have no one taught you that? There are times when I can be lenient, there are times when I am and for that I have no complaints given the circumstances. I can be cool like that, whenever applicable. Sometimes okay la. I'm not always an uptight person lah okay.

But this, this mengada mengada behaviour that you do. It just makes me sick, okay? Sakit mata. Boleh buta. Meluat. Sakit hati. Rasa macam nak suruh you pergi mati. Tak kisah la kawan ke tak kawan, tolong jangan nak membabi depan aku. Aku tak kisah kau homie ka apa ka kau boleh pergi makan taik for all I care.

So imagine that, if I find that unsettling, imagine seeing it happening in front of me. Sure, you can say "Alaaa we're just friends". I get that I do. But really, is it really necessary to go all touchy every single time? Perlu ke?

Tolong lah jangan jadi desperate sangat. Kalau kau nak sangat raba lelaki get yourself a fucking boyfriend and fuck off, or fuck him for that matter. Tolong ah jangan buat aku sakit mata sakit hati sakit jiwa. What you do makes me want to hate you.

&& you!, pleaaaaaaaaaase STOP BABBLING! The world does not revolve around you. That's all I hear every time we bumped into each other. Your friend this your friend that your day this your day that you can't decide WHATEVER! I don't fucking care. Stop whining and stop being so fickle and stop dragging everyone into your petty problems. You're making my ears bleed!

So now you know how I am. Jealous much? Yeah, you're probably right. But that is just how I am. That's the thing I live by, that I respect. I don't go doing all that with people's boyfriends and you should do too. If I can respect your ways I expect you to do the same for me. Don't inflict your ways on me, it just won't do.


Bear in mind. You wouldn't want to get in my bad books.

The Way It Works

If you get between me and the things I love, I will ask you politely to move.

If you get between me and the people I love, you will move.

(via I Wrote This For You)


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Suka :)

Poppysmic

I dreamt Mama gave birth to -- last night. She was bathing the baby and he looked so cute and tiny.

I wasted four hours in the center today. No class, yet again. I thought I'd have a more active sort of first week, like going out and all fufufu cause by next week I'll probably be busy with school and going home (often!) to see the baby, help out and all. So yeah. Come come take me out!

Some things to look forward to:

#1 Brunch with Ramblings on Friday.
#2 New baby brother!
#3 Birthday (ahaha lama lagi)

Quidnunc!

I had a good day today, time well spent. Met up with my girlfriends, watched a drrraaaagggy movie and died repeatedly inside the cinema hall but it was a good time with them nonetheless.

Just for the record, we watched Love Happens and it was bad I tell you. The title is irrelevant. We don't see the love. We can't even feel it! It's sad to see Jennifer Aniston acting in a sloppy movie like that. So save yourselves what 10, 11 ringgit and watch something else.

I can't wait for Sherlock Holmes and Valentine's Day to be out. Such a great cast (for both movies!) it should not be missed!

I will be seeing Ramblings this Friday, am looking forward to that :) My dear girl turned twenty today. Happy Birthday love!

&& I'm doing alright over here. I cried like a baby but I'm all good.

Duty patrol

After almost three months of maintaining long (& clean!) fingernails and after many (god knows how many) many years of avoiding the nail clipper, I clipped my nails tonight. It felt so odd; all this time I was so used to biting it to the core, sometimes until it hurts, and there I was clipping away and shaping it with my nail file. God it feels good to be able to type freely without my (weak!) nails getting in the way hehehe.

I planned on getting a manicure but I just couldn't wait. Besides, I'm leaving for campus tomorrow so that leaves me no time to indulge in any sort of fancy treatment. It's short now, way short, but I like it.

So basically this holiday wasn't quite productive as I had hoped, or planned but then I always fail to follow my plans because I am lazy like that, except for the part where I did a lot of chores despite waking up way pass breakfast and I read a really really good book and I spent time with my family and all that jazz. I planned to exercise you see, but I am lazy and I just couldn't be bothered. Oof and the food, Masya Allah, amazing! I got to eat at Rawsha, Tarbush, Mc Donalds, Nora and of course, at home. I love home-cooked food. And today, I just learned how to make one of my favourite dishes, Ayam Halia. Omnomnomnomnom.

Hi, I'm Alyaa and I love food. I don't think I like to sing as much as I love food. Yes I do.

I played nanny today, driving Mum and the sister around, went to the wet market and bought food (& this time really really paid attention because I'll be going to Pasar Tani from now on since Mum's too tired to walk now that she's almost due with the baby and will be in 'pantang' soon after. I can't believe that I've been going to the market for about...10 years already. How time flies eh.), drove them to the hospital for Amani's check-up with her doctor, drove in circles for a parking spot, went to Jusco to get Izzati's and Amani's school supplies (from stationaries to the clothes and everything) then bought MY own supplies and back again. It has got to be the longest day I've had so far during this holiday.

I should be sleeping right now as I have to wake up early and get my keys at UIA first then come back home as I haven't actually packed yet. I jsut washed the clothes and folded them nicely, but everything else is still sprewn everywhere -- I just need time to find them and find them quick. So yeah, I'll be heading back to my second home tomorrow, possibly settle in in the evening. I look forward to it, simply because I'll get to see my loved ones again -- the whole lot (& this time I get to see friends from CFS, although there is a particular person in mind that I, and we, look forward to see and also see what happens after, heh).

Ooh, and I found out that Aunty Kelly (my neighbour) have/had breast cancer stage 2 and just had it amputated. That's scary, ain't it. It's just came out of nowhere. BAM! Thankfully she's doing good and looks fit. I wish her all the best.

That's about it now. I'm off to bed, it's almost two!

Good night.

Borrowed Time

I was mad at you, for something you didn't know you did, or didn't do. Perhaps you knew, but you were too busy to attend to it. I detached myself from you, told myself that I didn't care although I knew deep down, I still do, but listening to those lies feels made me feel better. It sounded better too.

I refused to give in, to be weak, to be the girl who always find others. I did just that - but we both know that didn't do me (or us, for that matter) much good.

But that changed today. It was awkward at first - it was too obvious. And you knew, you must've known. I suppose that was obvious too - I meant it that way, I meant it for you and I meant it for another.

It'll take a while to get back to where we started but we'll be alright. It's time to grow up - for me at least. Big girls don't cry, no?


Thanks for calling. I guess I needed that.

The Distance To You

You told me it'd be ok. But you were the one crying.

You told me to let go. But you were the one holding onto my shirt.

(via I Wrote This For You)