Goodbye yellow brick road

Everyone has their own idea of a friend is made of, of how a friend is like and most importantly, what defines a friend. Some may have brilliantly well thought answers while others may not be able to conjure up such a definition. It is not something most of us would talk about let alone give much thought in it.

Back when things were much more simpler, making friends was one of the things that make us the happy jolly kids that we were. If only things were as simple as they once were. If only.

I had few friends when I was younger as I did not attend preschool and there were only a few kids in my neighbourhood. Entering primary school, I made new friends and met my first best friend, or so I thought but I guess as little kids we tend to get best friends almost instantly. I believe I was eager to please and keep these friends as they were the among the first few that I ever had. Throughout primary school, I had a few bumps where friends are concerned but bounced right back on track as I never quite bothered with such things.

Come high school, I transferred to a different place, met more people and made even more friends. They say high school is the best time of your life. Perhaps at the time, then, we all thought it was but looking back now, I am beginning to see things in a different light. Anyhow, there, I met my second best friend, then the closest person I had to me. We had a good friendship that lasts for three years, and then it happened. The fallout. Somewhere along the way, we grew apart and did not talk for a long time. Initially, I was deeply affected by it but the presence of others around me and other important events kept me occupied till the feeling faded away. At one point, I admit that I did miss the good old times when we were friends, sharing secrets and making jokes about everything and even though we weren't talking then, I know quite well about what's going on with her through others. Then somehow, miraculously, after almost two years, the silence was broken and we became friends again, perhaps not as close as we were before and probably will never be as we once were, but we are in good terms with one another.

I had and still have other friends of course but I wasn't much of a grateful time back then. At that period of time, I had someone you'd call a 'significant other' but I'd rather not use that term for one particular reason; he is not worth enough of a man to be a significant other, for me. Then, I foolishly cared for only him and somewhat somehow ignored my friends; I always put them last. There were times when I felt left out but that was only my own mistake, I did not really try and I don't blame them for it. Eventually, my life went through a drastic change and thankfully, the relationship I had ended.

Now, already in college, I see things differently. I want to do things differently this time around. Ever since the relationship died, I have been taking more interest and cared more for my friends, the good bunch. I spent more time with them, catching up, exchanging stories and bonded more often. I was making up for lost time and I enjoyed every bit, perhaps, a little too much.

Recently, I have encountered a series of events that tested the strength of such friendships. Recent events have also shown me the horrifying truth about such people, a truth I know but find hard to accept, as most truths are. No matter how hard I try to deny it, it is happening once again when I least expected. I am rather affected by the sudden change, so abrupt, so different from the last that I find it really upsetting.

Mother once told me that friends won't help you go anywhere, really but I denied her and wanted to prove her wrong. Now, here I am again on the same road, listening to the same wisdom I once heard, friendship is not a strong base, they don't get you anywhere. Your best friends, boyfriends and girlfriends won't tell you this so you should listen close, and listen well. Friendships don't always last; they are not a strong base to rely on, you should always rely on yourself. I don't mean to kill the spirit of friendships or such, if any, but what I am saying is to always know the bigger picture, of what is and what is not. People change and sometimes they can change so drastically you can't believe that just a moment ago, they were your friends. Don't be surprised how people can be, don't say I didn't warn you.

Cherish your friends but remember your priorities; your family, your studies and the ones that actually mattered. Good friends are only there when you're happy but great friends are there no matter what the circumstances, no matter how long. I guess whoever said that real friends are hard to find is actually telling the truth.

I may have experienced a few bumps along the way but I should/will not let it bring me down. I still have plenty to learn and a lot more to control; I have concluded that sometimes it is best not to care, to use the I-Could-Care-Less term and have a neutral relationship than caring so much for someone and having to go through such unworthy shit. Don't let it waste your time.

I am not bitter. I am only slightly upset. Big difference there, can you tell?






So exactly what defines a friend?



You tell me.