Remorse

Failure after failure after failure. Will it ever get better?






Aah, such a disappointment.







Do I make you proud?
Perhaps that's the wrong question to ask just yet. Sigh..

Unfortunate events

I now have a terrible headache due to watching the telly for a good two hours, a sore throat that it hurts so bad when I swallow, I've been blowing my nose quite a lot that it hurts now, my tummy is growling, my phone has gone missing god knows where I last put it and the best yet, I am stuck at home.










Could it get any better?





My mood is deteriorating from bad to worse.






STFCKUP AND LET ME LAMENT ALL I WANT.

Tagged by Atikah

I've been tagged, by Atikah. A random meme, to occupy me on this very boring day. Aah.




6 Random Facts About Me.

1. I suffer from Sinus Rhinitis.
I am allergic to dust, molds, pollens and the likes, which is why I blow my nose a lot. If you find it disgusting then you may leave, look away or don't talk to me at all.


2. I like to study human behaviour.
Whoa that sounds so, scientific-ish. When I have nothing to do, or when I'm alone lah kan, I watch the people around me, how they walk, talk, eat, their clothes, hair and the likes. I don't forget a face unless I haven't or fail to see the person when he/she is in my presence. I'm pretty observant, although some may call it stalking. But that is another story itself.


3. I stalk people.
Certain people. Especially when I'm bored. I'm just a good stalker and myspace, friendster, facebook, and blogger helps A LOT. Ah, thank you technology. Mok must be proud :)


4. I wear glasses.
I suffer from Astigmatism on my right eye (power is 100) which requires me to wear glasses especially at night and when it is too bright. I also wear glasses when I am using the computer. The left eye is alright, with only a power of 50.


5. I named my laptop/notebook Mika.
I did not want to refer to it as "my laptop" and rather than using the term again and again, I named it Mika, courtesy to Shafiq who came up with the name. Mika is a she, a girl. Yes, I know that the two popular Mikas, the singer Mika and the Finnish F1 driver Mika Hakkinen are both gents but this one's a lady. Because I said so.


6. When I'm happy, I tend to act as if I'm flying.
I'd lift both my hands to a T shape and do the flying motion. Yeah, it feels good. I also tend to skip a step, or two when I feel jolly molly. If you're walking with me at that current moment and you feel embarrassed by my actions, feel free to walk away ;)





Ah, finally done!



Somehow, it was hard doing this meme. Usually I have so much to write but somehow it's been pretty slow today, very, actually. Thank you Shafiq for helping me out yeh ;)



I tag Meuy, Mok, Niksu, Fiza and Aleea.








HAHAHA.

I'm not okay

One two three four..

I was right. Just like I was before. Strange enough, it did not fail me, did not fail to see beneath it, behind the curtains. It did not feel right, something was amiss. It felt wrong. No. It is not something I asked for but I knew, I just knew. It comes naturally, it's something you can't control.


Don't keep things from me, I will find out in the end. And even if you don't tell me now, you will eventually. I will make you and I will be right, once again. Again and again. Life taught me that, it's too obvious to ignore, signs and signs of similar encounters, those I faced before.






One two three four.. Prove me wrong.








It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game








----Thanks Zhaf, you're a great friend you lackshit ;) although I still feel quite the same as I did when we first talked.

Killjoy

She puts her hands over her face, she could feel herself tremble as she quietly breathe out a heavy sigh. It's late. Temperature's rising, she made her way downstairs, careful with her steps to the piano and took her little book and ran upstairs. She carefully wrote underneath the dim light, holding back every tear no matter how much she wanted to let it out. She wrote and wrote, with such sadness, anger and hurt. Such emotions.


Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?


Flat on the floor, she stared into space, her head filled with thoughts, words and tears. She could not let it out nor tell anyone. Who were you talking to anyway? Guess you're alone in the end. Alone. Alone. Alone. She could not shut her eyes even if she tried.


Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game


She looked at the clock, ten minutes past midnight. 26th, again, they are FIVE now. After a long shower, she stepped out feeling better, physically and started writing again, this time, with her faithful companion. And still, she could not shut her eyes as she recalled the incident, again and again, and again.




Don't bother, it doesn't change anything.






;; A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds To Mars.

EF.

Do you like to get left behind, to be ignored? Do you like goodbyes, even more the ones without a word or notice, the end? Well, do you?

Do you?

DO YOU?











POTONG GILA AH.
Get lost. Aku takda mood.

Sweet shocka

I finally logged into my Tickle account again after a year away. I can't believe I was only twelve when I first did those tests. That was six years ago. Eager to find out what has changed in me, I retook most of the tests, again, for old times' sake. Most of the tests were taken when I was about 12 till 14. A kid.

Hingusan.

After one and a half hours of answering questions, I find that most of the results are the same. Only a few of the results vary and one took me by surprise, completely. I am still the girl next door who has a subtle flirting style and looks for a soulmate in a relationship who is attracted to the class clown and loves a romantic gesture as it turns me on. One thing though, back then, the best match for my personality is Taurus but now, lo and behold, the best match personality is Aries (read: Shafiq -> Aries) Hah ha. Just for the record, the ex is a Pieces.




It's a sign, he said. Aha, perhaps my love, let's hope for that.

Sperm whale

What kind of whale is that?
Sperm.

Hee hee huh huh.

There is a boy, a wonderboyy. A boy who makes me happy and allows me to be all cheese and crazy. A boy who's crazy and cheese himself, bubbly and boyan, just the way I like it :] And so, today marks Wonderboyy's 19th birthday. So yes,




HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDERA SHAFIQ <3




I'm sorry I'm not there celebrating with you on this very day but always remember that my feelings for you will always stay the same. May this year be the best yet and all your dreams come true. God bless.


I laaaaavvvvvv youuuuu :]

I thought you'd like to do something special on your birthday.
I'm something special ;)

Old window

I just read my old old old posts. How horrid.


It was all about him, him, him. Soffie soffie soffie soffie. Back and forth, all I could see was his name, what he was doing, what he did and all that happened with me was that I cried, A LOT. It's sad, how I wrote his name in every post, how I said that I love him every time and look at where we are now. All I saw was a girl who got hurt and cried time and time again. How stupid can I be? Perhaps it was because, well, I thought, I did love him back then - I loved him so much but he was too blind to see it. I should have listened to my mum and save my own skin from all the pain that he put me through.

It reminded me of Roi Boy's ex-girlfriend's blog.

It's mad. Atrocious.





I've deleted my first blog, that itself contained a lot of unhappiness and misery. I'm glad things have changed. I'm glad I have, for the better, hopefully. I was rather a silly, wild girl. Poor thing, I was. It's better now, it's all better now.






Don't waste your time here. Move on, read another.

Hello?

A lot of phone calls to be made this holiday, you you you and you. And most definitely you. I promised I will call and I will, I will. One at a time.

If only I could trade those phone calls with an outing pass so that I could meet you, all of you this holiday. If only, if only.





I find myself missing the ones I have, even more with the ones I had.

Don't fret love

I've been here for a while now. So many times I felt like deleting all those old posts but no, they are reminders of what how and who I was then. This is me, now. How some things change and memories last forever no matter how hard you try to forget it, it's still there, hidden in the corners of your mind. Ah yes.

Apart from usual twenty minute calls with him, life is as it is, was. It's a daily thing, calling him up and chatting on the phone before going back to our own personal lives. He really makes me happy, that boy, oh and he's turning 19 in three days. Gettin' old there ey bebot.

I do miss that jolly boy, always wondering what he is up to and wishing I could see him myself during the holidays but I know (we both do, I think) for sure that it's unlikely to happen. I am not being pessimistic here, I am just being realistic. It is what it is. I know you mean well but you need not say anything about it. If what say I say can't change my father's mind, what makes you think you can? I've tried it before and I've tried it a hundred times more and the answer is still the same. It is final. My father is not ready to let me go just as he is not ready for any change. Sometimes it sucks, having to miss out on things, but, you get the hang of it, and even if you try to show the world that it doesn't hurt you, it does, you just have to bear with it. And wait, not just wait but do something, which is what I am doing, gaining their trust. You don't know anything, you won't understand.

Don't force me into things. Don't have high expectations of me that I can't and maybe never fulfill. I might end up disappointing you.








It's not what it seems, looks can be ARE deceiving.









As long you know it's not a big deal, and I know it's not a big deal, then it's okay.

The notebook

I like notebooks, pretty notebooks with pretty cute covers and pretty lines that I can fill up with my thoughts and imagination. But it doesn't necessarily mean that I will or have to fill every page of it. Well, sometimes I like to leave it empty, a blank, as if I might just need them one day, to write something important. Heh.

I'm a sucker for notebooks. To prove that, I just bought myself, (well technically Mama paid them all) three pretty notebooks yesterday. Yay me. I was searching for the Azone black book that I've always wanted - it's just a simple notebook like the usual ones I always buy except the cover and paper's all black - when I saw these pretty notebooks like the long exercise books we used to use in school, all stacked up on the shelf. Honestly, they were, they were pretty, with prety covers - of kids, sceneries, i.love.yous, colours, sketches - and simple lines that it reminded me of school and of the exercise books that they use in the movie Madeline. Ah yes, my memory goes a long way back to when that movie was my favourite and I remember saying how nice it is to have such a simple book as that. Okay enough flashbacks.

Story was, Mama, Adik and I went to MPH at Great Eastern Mall, GE Mall for short, with the intention to buy some books and use up our RM120 book voucher. Unfortunately for us, we didn't clearly comprehend that it was a BOOK voucher, which means you can only use it for books, until we were about to pay and the lady said "Oh, ini untuk buku je". Ah yes, all the stationary worth of about, say a hundred bucks had to be paid in CASH. Ignorance is not so bliss. How stupid of us to not realise that it was a BOOK VOUCHER. Oh well, not all is lost, Ma paid for the stationaries, our lucky day I supposed :) Well, want to know what cost so much, well let's see what we bought (I bought for myself then end up buying for the girls too in case they want what I had and we do not want that now do we):

3 Azone Black Book 11.55

4 Notebooks/exercise books 3.60

3 Pilot pens 4.90

5 Pilot metalic pens 3.20

1 Sticker 2.50

&& some other stuff for the little one.

So yeah, quite a number of items there ey but I was trying to be fair, I mean, if the girls lament about not getting their share of stuff then that'd just be, horrid. A problem for me as I can't tolerate such nonsense from these two, the long faces and thick lips. Well, that's another story.

Everyone was happy, us girls that is. I guess Shafiq's right, I do have a lot of notebooks :)

Moving on, today I managed to wake up late, yet again. You see, I'm not doing so well with this weight thing. Agh. But I did and still am, controlling my food intake. I had sandwiches today, for late breakfast, lunch and dinner respectively. I'm better off having small meals than big meals because I know I'll get hungry and munch away after a while. And I did a few sit ups and stuff like that, no, no jog this evening ladies and gents and it rained. No, not a drizzle yeh.

Ghost Rider did not fulfill my uh, expectations. Something is missing, it lacks adventure, action if I may be so bold to point it out, which in this case, I am.

Right.

Everytime I talk about with someone, or anyone for that matter, I get all emotional, my chest and breathing all heavy, like there's something stuck and I can't get it out it's overwhelming. I don't like talking about it, it makes me go down down down. Yeah. It does. I try not to let it, but I am not all that strong. It's not something I asked for, it's something that they set for me, that I must obey. Please don't ask me why, or try to change it. I know them and I know me, and there's a lot more I have to do, that I must prove before I am granted with such freedom. Maybe you will understand, maybe you never will.

Permission to launch

How can you possibly understand my situation? You don't know what I've been through, it's not what it seems. It's not what it seems.


You don't know what happened. Something happened. And many more. Things happened and things changed, but something still stay the same. It will take a while for them, a LONG while. And they are not ready for it. I know.




Try to be in my shoes for a while and perhaps you'll understand what it feels like to be me.




Perhaps.




Perhaps you never will.













Ps Don't ask me why I can't go out or give me your opinions and bull. I don't need them. You don't know my situation so when I say I can't, it means I can't. No buts ands or maybes. And that's final.

Fat cow losing weight?

I am an enormously fat cow. Ah, don't deny it ja, it's a known fact. With these love handles, no, rephrase, spare tyres, FLABS!, I am one.

I tried to sleep early last night, but in vain. The bright lights and loud sound of Rachael Yamagata singing in my ears kept me awake until about 11.30pm when I finally dozed off. Woke up at 8am, I managed to NOT hear any of my four alarms that I set the night before. Still, determined to at least TRY , I went jogging anyway. At least, that was until I jogged for about 5 minutes and collapse. HAHA. Okay it didn't happen that way but I did, I did slow down and walked for another 5 minutes (or more?) before I jogged again. Heh *tutup muka* God I am so not fit, not at all! Sorry Shafiq, I don't think I'm up to par to be your jog partner, haha. Okay okay no need to say anything there mate, no need for words. Hush now. The embarrassment is enough.


Sigh.


I suck. I suck at running, practically at almost everything. Perhaps that's because I never do it wholeheartedly, I just give it a try a couple of times and then I give up. Oh god. I don't know what he sees in me. Clearly there is nothing good, nothing that can set me apart from the rest of them, from any of them for that matter. I am bad at everything I do, pfft. Well, almost. Okay now I'm just degrading myself but but but, you can't help but agree with me now, can you?


I only had 2 toasts with butter, bread and soup (sup daging melayu punya tuh bukan mak salleh punye) and one small bungkus of nasi lemak for breakfast, lunch and dinner respectively yesterday.


Maybe I won't lose any weight, maybe I will.




But then...




I had omelette for breakfast this morning. Yeah, I KNOW RIGHT.



Efffff, I have a cramp on my left butt cheek, or somewhere around there. Effff.







No seriously, not a word. Not aay word.

An early start

Woke up early this morning, at about 7.45am. I checked the time, like I always do. It's a funny sight really, I woke up with an itch on my left butt cheek due to the friction caused by the pad, I went straight to my parents' room and took a towel, head right back to mine and started doing sit ups. And my eyes weren't even fully opened yet! Did about 10 sit ups, push ups and some other simple stretches, whatever you call it. Ah yes. Took a shower shortly after, a long one in fact, now that I'm at home although the water's not as cold. Made my bed, tidy up my room and did the laundry. And it was just 8.55am. I'm back baby! Back to the 'at home' mode - waking up early, doing chores etc etc and relax - and I'm liking it. I fancy waking up early, although the process of doing so can be quite the exercise. Heh.


It's not a want, but a need.


Yes, don't do what I want. Do what I need to, what I have to. Yes yes my boy, I admit.

And so now I'm alone with Mika, Abah's out with the CPU, I think it blew up yet again this morning. Be warned that when he gets back, he might just bring home a new PC altogether. Dangerous. He did mentioned that he fancied buying the new XPS desktop, he already chose his specs and that itself (will) cost about 12k. Woah.



I've been watching Skins for the past three hours now. My eyes, my eyes! Am on Episode 4, woohoo. It is rather intense than the first season, with more and more drama in each episode. Ok now I sound like I'm writing a review but heck, I like it anyway, although the anticipation is killing me.

No fast forward here, no can do, I'll have to watch it all. One by one. Hear that Shafiq? No fast forwarding no no. Ugh, can you imagine that? To not have the power to fast forward and rewind everything all over, but to watch it, s l o w l y, as it is. Oh shut up. Boyan.





I really need an external hard disk. Really really. Can you go get me one?

Make it real, this time

I've done my work, chores. Well, most of it. It's currently 10.12. About twenty minutes left before I hit the sack, as promised.



I really need to get this, I need to do this. I know I know. I know the drill, I know the deal, I'm just....lazy? He says I don't love myself as much. Hmm, perhaps so.

I will do this. I will, I will. Now, now, now.


Clean bedroom
Clear/tidy up clothes
Wash laundry
Dry laundry
Fold laundry
Iron laundry
Unpack/re-pack
Rearrange books
Rearrange clothes


And so I am left with rearranging the books on the shelves, folding and ironing and the likes. Phew. 2 days down and it's been going.....SLOW. Make haste now my love, we haven't much time, just another 26 days left.



I will lose weight. I will work out. I will exercise. I will sleep early. I will do it, or die trying. I have to. I must.



It will happen, this time. I'll make it real.






Oh, and not forgetting. Today notes Bo's birthday, she's 19 now that boyan. It's his birthday too, ah yes, to be on the exact same day as hers. Anyways,



Happy Birthday Farahin Boyann<3
Lavv lavv youuu.






Good night.

Clock is ticking

I just watched the first episode of Skins - Season 2. Wooh, that was intense, all that drama. Poor Tony.

Chores chores chores. I haven't started any. Seriously, I need a good spank in the tush, and a good push. Oh yes somebody come bitch slap me, heh. I still have to clear up my pile of mess. Mum said she'll set a time line if I don't get it done by....today. Oh yeah. Pfft. I'm not use to doing house chores now, I only do my laundry and clean my room at college. This is going to take some getting used to.

Now that that's out, I'll be going now. Starting with my room.



Chores chores chores:

Clean bedroom
Clear/tidy up clothes
Wash laundry
Dry laundry
Fold laundry
Iron laundry
Unpack and re-pack
Rearrange books
Rearrange clothes




Let's get started. And it's already three. O boy, god help me.

Tagged by Fiza

I've been tagged, by Fiza, just because you knew I was gonna read it, eh. Ohhh. HAHAHA. Here goes.


#1) What is your beauty regime and the products you use? Describe in detail.

I don't really take care of myself well. Heh. I use Loreal Pure Zone Deep Purifying Facial Wash, Loreal Pure Zone Clarifying Toner & Loreal Pure Zone Moisturizer. Usually, I use St. Ives Blemish Fighting Apricot Cleanser to clean my face. And just recently, I've started using Body Shop Moisture White Eye Serum.

#2) What makeup do you use? Describe in detail.

I RARELY wear makeup. But if I do I use Body Shop Liquid Lip Colour 04, Body Shop Liquid Eyeliner in Brown, Vaseline Cherry Flavoured Lip Balm.

#3) What perfume/cologne do you use? Describe in detail.

Daily and almost all the time, White Musk by Body Shop, and the occasional spray of Ja'dore by Dior and Pleasures by Estee Lauder.

#4) What purse/wallet do you use and what do you have in it? Describe in detail.

I only have one and only one purse, my pink and black Elle long purse. I have an A1 Grand Prix Calendar, Gossips business card, 84cube business card, Tamarind Spring business card, Hotlink card (the one where they put your PUK code), Bank Muamalat ATM card, L license, some driving card, MyKad IC, cut out photo of me aged 5, two vain photos of myself, one Ihateyou photo, 4 sets of cinema tickets, a couple of shopping receipts, bank receipts, warning letter for absence to Arabic Language class, more receipts, coins, rm24, Singapore Dollar note, picture of girlfriends, bus ticket, hospital receipt, photocopy of IC. Phew!

#5) What shoes and bags do you usually use? Describe in detail.

I only use a number of shoes, U.R.S black wedge, Vincci black strap wedge, Vincci black pumps for class, off white/cream Converse, white Ipanema slippers, brandless brown toilet slipper. The other 4, I rarely use. As for bags, Padini big black bag, Jim Thompson cat black and white bag, Stella Stella mauve tote bag and GAP black patent leather handbag.


That is all. I have shoes for sale. Come ask me, heh.


I tag:
Aleea
Afi
Meuy

Gravity

There's so much that I want to say, to write, to express, but by no means writing it in such a fashion that I choose not to write at all.



Lost in my own thoughts, as John plucked the guitar and sang...

"Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down"



I feel like I'm going down, all the way down.










I woke up to find my WHITE sloggi panties, the one I was wearing, all RED. I just had my periods, this morning. Great, should've seen it coming. I tried my best with it but I don't think it can be saved. Oh well, there goes another panty.


I've been saying a lot of "should've...(s)" in my sentences nowadays it's annoying as I personally don't fancy such a word, let alone have it in my vocabulary. I really should stop prcrastinating.


PMS gets the best of me, always.





I don't feel like doing anything right now. Maybe it's the endless list I wrote the day before, of what I have (& want) to do this holiday, that it suddenly felt like such a burden on my already poor aching back. I have always been this ambitious, always with plans and more new plans every time but I am also, and always have been such a procrastinator and a lazy bum that most of my so-called plans always, without fail, fail. I want it to change this time, no longer wanting to use the utterly annoying word "should've" by the end of this three-week break. No, not again. I've already failed myself (& others) this semester, by doing every wrong that I could think of, be it sleep so late and miss a lot of my prayers, eat so much that I look like a whale now, fooled around and never studied like I did before and so on. I am a disappointment. I've calculated my chances, with such low carry marks and even lower results, my chances on getting DL is zero. ZILCH. NIL. NONE. I might not even get a 3-pointer. Lo and behold of the lectures to come courtesy of Mr. Ramli and Mrs. Kay, mainly from the former.



Dear you who's reading this, do you how much I want to, how I wish I could? I wish you knew and I hope you'd understand. Maybe you would, maybe you could, but I still feel the same. I feel the guilt, of not being there with you on such a day. I feel sorry for myself, for not being able to be like everyone else, gay and free and I feel sorry for you, I am sorry for you, for having someone like me, someone who's restricted, confined and bound to rules and even more rules. I feel like the big bad wolf, of wrong, of nothingness. I feel sad, always being the one who ALWAYS misses out on almost, if not practically, everything, not just with what's coming, but with everything that has happened, everything. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you so, I'm sorry.












I'm just having holiday blues.

Takde kena mengena

Hai kawan-kawan. Hari ini, kita cakap bahasa ibunda, bahasa kita. Kerna hari ini malas, penat, bosan dan rasa nak marah. Kita akan rojak rojakkan sikit lah, kalau nak kasi ayat tu bunyi sedap. Takde takde, takde ayat bunga bunga, angin tak elok.


Nak cakap aku ke saya? Ape ape la.




Tak kisah kalau awak nak pakai seluar pendek depan saya, jangan pendek sangat, nanti saya yang sakit mata.

Tak suka bila budak-budak kecik berpakaian terlalu macam orang besar dan orang besar pula mencuba terlalu keras untuk berpakaian seperti kanak-kanak.

Pening kepala bila tengok orang pakai semua kaler yang terang terang lepas tu clash. Tau la gaya, tapi jangan la pakai semua warna.

Geli hati melihat rempit rempit 'younglings'. Awak tu baru je 10/11 tahun dah nak jadi kaum rempit. Ya ampun. Yang tua nye pun serupa je. Baju kecik, seluar ketat, speck besar ala ala Ray Ban, kasut jenama tiruan, dan berjalan beramai ramai terkengkang kengkang, awak lah tu. Kelakar la. Tolong la belajar pandai pandai lepas tu nak jadi rempit jadi la. Rempit tak seharusnya berpakaian begitu, bukan?

Tak suka bila budak2 perempuan berpakaian kurang kain lepas tu bising bila kene raba semua. Awak yang pilih mcm tu, jangan la mengomel pulak.

Tak paham kenapa kebanyakan budak lelaki dekat Uia berperangai macam babi babi. Bagaikan tak pernah tengok perempuan. Kalau kan boleh naik ke bilik awak, sah lama saya naik lepas tu pecahkan telur awak yang lembik tu. Lelaki pengecut.

Tak suka juniors. Memang tak suka. Tak suka bila juniors menyibuk-nyibuk nak tahu pasal hidup saya. Bukan nya caring, tapi nosey.

Saya mmg a bitter old bitch. Sue me.

Tak suka bila keluar sorang sorang dan hanya tengok orang lalu lalang. Kenapa la saya ni membosankan sangat sampai tiada kawan untuk di ajak keluar?

Tidak suka apabila diri mengatakan 'I should've...' Sungguh benci. Tiada guna menyesali kini.

Tak suka budak budak yang nak populariti. Ya ampun, tolong la belajar pandai pandai. Jangan la dok sibuk cari teman lelaki, buat benda2 bodoh yang semua org buat, pergi ke tpt tpt 'it' scene hanya untuk mendapat recognition. Awak takkan dapat apa apa, buang duit, tenaga dan masa sahaja.

Geli hati melihat dunia dan orang orang di atasnya. Melayu la, maksud saya.

Tidak suka dengan beberapa cara kerajaan di perintah, namun, kalau awak sedar, tanpa mereka jugak, kita takkan dapat ke sini. Mmg yang sekarang ni tak begitu hebat seperti ketua yang dahulu tetapi saya akan tetap sokong kerajaan. Tidak akan membenarkan ia jatuh ke tangan seseorang yang akan menjual bangsa. Bodoh ke apa. Do you not read, do you not know the history of your OWN country, how boring and lame it may be, that once, our forefathers fought for our country? You may not understand, but we ought and need those Malay rights, this is our land.

Sedih apabila mereka tidak mengerti. Memang saya tidak suka orang atasan yang babi babi mengambil rasuah dan tidak jujur, tetapi saya pasti ada juga yang baik kerna, banyak juga benda baik yang berlaku. Tetapi saya harus akui, perubahan yang berlaku beberapa tahun ini memang tidak best dan banyak membuatkan masyarakat marah. Sedih, apa nak jadi. Biarlah mata mereka dibuka, tetapi, janganlah bagi sejarah berulang lagi.

Tidak suka berhujah, tentang apa apa. Dahulu suka la, tetapi kini tidak lagi. Awak fikir apa awak ingin kan, saya tidak kuasa untuk mengubah fikiran awak, unless, saya nak :)

Akui sangat sangat tentang keadilan tuhan, what goes around comes around. Memang benar, terbukti sangat. Geli hati :)

Kepada Fiza, banyak saya nak ceritakan dengan awak. Rindu seperti dahulu kala. Ingat lagi, Klang Valley, the real Laguna Beach? Jikalau mereka mengetahui, pasti berjuta juta yang menonton cerita kami, ye dak? Haha. Rindu.

Sangat bosan, penat dan nak marah hari ini. Baru ingat nak tidur awal tetapi nampaknya tidak jadi. Ah babi.



Saya rindu awak.




Bye.

Lethargic

Not in the mood to blog. Not now, not yet.





Shoo.

Reason not to blog

Tgh finals.
So far, so bad.



Not good.
Not good.





Sigh.