I've been here for a while now. So many times I felt like deleting all those old posts but no, they are reminders of what how and who I was then. This is me, now. How some things change and memories last forever no matter how hard you try to forget it, it's still there, hidden in the corners of your mind. Ah yes.
Apart from usual twenty minute calls with him, life is as it is, was. It's a daily thing, calling him up and chatting on the phone before going back to our own personal lives. He really makes me happy, that boy, oh and he's turning 19 in three days. Gettin' old there ey bebot.
I do miss that jolly boy, always wondering what he is up to and wishing I could see him myself during the holidays but I know (we both do, I think) for sure that it's unlikely to happen. I am not being pessimistic here, I am just being realistic. It is what it is. I know you mean well but you need not say anything about it. If what say I say can't change my father's mind, what makes you think you can? I've tried it before and I've tried it a hundred times more and the answer is still the same. It is final. My father is not ready to let me go just as he is not ready for any change. Sometimes it sucks, having to miss out on things, but, you get the hang of it, and even if you try to show the world that it doesn't hurt you, it does, you just have to bear with it. And wait, not just wait but do something, which is what I am doing, gaining their trust. You don't know anything, you won't understand.
Don't force me into things. Don't have high expectations of me that I can't and maybe never fulfill. I might end up disappointing you.
It's not what it seems, lookscan be ARE deceiving.
As long you know it's not a big deal, and I know it's not a big deal, then it's okay.
Apart from usual twenty minute calls with him, life is as it is, was. It's a daily thing, calling him up and chatting on the phone before going back to our own personal lives. He really makes me happy, that boy, oh and he's turning 19 in three days. Gettin' old there ey bebot.
I do miss that jolly boy, always wondering what he is up to and wishing I could see him myself during the holidays but I know (we both do, I think) for sure that it's unlikely to happen. I am not being pessimistic here, I am just being realistic. It is what it is. I know you mean well but you need not say anything about it. If what say I say can't change my father's mind, what makes you think you can? I've tried it before and I've tried it a hundred times more and the answer is still the same. It is final. My father is not ready to let me go just as he is not ready for any change. Sometimes it sucks, having to miss out on things, but, you get the hang of it, and even if you try to show the world that it doesn't hurt you, it does, you just have to bear with it. And wait, not just wait but do something, which is what I am doing, gaining their trust. You don't know anything, you won't understand.
Don't force me into things. Don't have high expectations of me that I can't and maybe never fulfill. I might end up disappointing you.
It's not what it seems, looks
As long you know it's not a big deal, and I know it's not a big deal, then it's okay.
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